Dear Randi,
I can prove that I am Jesus Christ.
Last week I was kicked out of a bar. I went right back in. The bartender said, and I quote, "Jesus Christ are you back?"
Please send me your million dollar check as I need money to pay for the stamp and envelope.
DON'T CROSS ME.
-Bernie Cook
==============================================
Dear Mr. Cook,
We have received your letter concerning the Million Dollar Challenge. Although I find your proof quite convincing, Randi says we need more proof.
We're planning a get-together at the foundation this month and we could really use your skills at turning water into wine.
I should also mention that Billy Graham (a close personal friend of god) never mentioned you. Maybe this was an oversight on his part. If you can't win our money, I'm sure he'll loan you the cash. I hear he's loaded.
Respectfully,
Andrew Harter
12-2-99
============================================
Dear Andy & Randi,
Thanks for your reply. By the way you can call me JC.
RE your request to change water into wine, sorry but I must refuse. Since I joined AA I can only change water into seltzer.
(egg creams my specialty)
As for a loan from Billy Graham, he will not send me any. The ingrate has been collecting money in my name for years. (and doin' it not in vain)
Andy and Randi, I expect a birthday present on December 25. You owe me for two thousand years now. I will accept a small gift. One million dollars in small bills.
Yours on Sunday.
JC (Bernie Cook), Earth Headquarters
I can prove that I am Jesus Christ.
Last week I was kicked out of a bar. I went right back in. The bartender said, and I quote, "Jesus Christ are you back?"
Please send me your million dollar check as I need money to pay for the stamp and envelope.
DON'T CROSS ME.
-Bernie Cook
==============================================
Dear Mr. Cook,
We have received your letter concerning the Million Dollar Challenge. Although I find your proof quite convincing, Randi says we need more proof.
We're planning a get-together at the foundation this month and we could really use your skills at turning water into wine.
I should also mention that Billy Graham (a close personal friend of god) never mentioned you. Maybe this was an oversight on his part. If you can't win our money, I'm sure he'll loan you the cash. I hear he's loaded.
Respectfully,
Andrew Harter
12-2-99
============================================
Dear Andy & Randi,
Thanks for your reply. By the way you can call me JC.
RE your request to change water into wine, sorry but I must refuse. Since I joined AA I can only change water into seltzer.
(egg creams my specialty)
As for a loan from Billy Graham, he will not send me any. The ingrate has been collecting money in my name for years. (and doin' it not in vain)
Andy and Randi, I expect a birthday present on December 25. You owe me for two thousand years now. I will accept a small gift. One million dollars in small bills.
Yours on Sunday.
JC (Bernie Cook), Earth Headquarters