Attn Skepchicks! FREE TAMIII Services!

[BigShoeStu]

I would like to be the first (of predictably many) to humbly offer my qualified services, FREE of charge, to any and all Skepchicks for the duration of TAMIII:

BODY GUARD:
Qualifications - I am 6'-7" tall and am about 300 lbs (soaking wet), but I don't know how to fight. Luckily, I have an uncanny talent of looking really mean when I am actually terrified and that has been enough to make anyone "step-off".

CHAUFFUER / DESIGNATED DRIVER:
I will be driving from Phoenix in my Sweet-Ass-Pimp-Daddy-Gangsta car. It comfortably seats 4 to 5 Skepchicks. 18 if we use vegetable oil. 20 if I open the moonroof. 23 if I stay out of the car (DAMN!).

FINANCIAL ADVISOR:
I will follow you through the casino's telling you NOT to put any money in slot machines, Keno or on any table games. I promise you will thank me later. This service only available when I am away from the Poker Room. Hey, poker is different!

BULLSH!T DETECTOR:
One of my greatest skills, but alas, wasted and unimpressive to most Skepchicks since you have them "built-in" anyway.

CHOCOLATE TEST TASTER:
Speaks for itself, doesn't it?

I'm easy to find in a crowd. I will be the guy wearing the very large shoes.

 

[MLynn]

Hey, Stu - how are ya? I'm hoping to be at TAM, but will be flying in so I won't need a ride. But, it would be great to meet you. At 6'7" I'm sure I can pick you out of a crowd. I'm sorry, but I must play some slots and maybe some blackjack (vice alert!)

 

[kittynh]

Cool!!!

You can follow me around and tell me not to put money into the slots. To be honest, I couldn't figure out how to do it (it didn't look like the movies where you put the money in and pulled the handle) - but I wanted someone to tell me how to do it (especially when I saw nickell slots - how could I lose?)

Am I allowed to call you "Big Daddy"?

 

[BigShoeStu]

Cool!!!

Am I allowed to call you "Big Daddy"?

Only if I can call you "Little Momma".

I have been called much worse! Some of my other nicknames are "Stubacca", "Fun Size", "Beef (Stew)" and my favorite, "Sex Machine", but it's usually just me calling myself that. I know. . . too much info. Sorry.

 

[bug_girl]

I'm afraid the service i most need is someone to buy me a ticket. That wasn't on your list---can we negotiate?

 

[kittynh]

You win enough at poker and Bug girl and I will call you "Sugar Daddy"!

 

[BigShoeStu]

You win enough at poker and Bug girl and I will call you "Sugar Daddy"!

And when the three of us are togerther I will be the "Big Sugar Daddy". Gather a few more Skepchicks and everybody else will be calling me "Pimp Daddy".

 

[kittynh]

Buy a cool BIG hat to wear!

 

[Chaos]

I´d also like to offer my services for TAM3.

Particularly, I promise that, towards the end of this year, I will start another fight with Exarch over the quality of Belgian vs. German chocolate, so we will have an excuse to hold another Chocolate Challenge at TAM3.

In exchange, I expect all of you to vote for my entry this time.

 

[Wyvern]

I´d also like to offer my services for TAM3.

Particularly, I promise that, towards the end of this year, I will start another fight with Exarch over the quality of Belgian vs. German chocolate, so we will have an excuse to hold another Chocolate Challenge at TAM3.

In exchange, I expect all of you to vote for my entry this time.

But . . . so . . . what services are you offering us?

 

[Electric Monk]

BODY GUARD:
Qualifications - I am 6'-7" tall and am about 300 lbs (soaking wet), but I don't know how to fight. Luckily, I have an uncanny talent of looking really mean when I am actually terrified and that has been enough to make anyone "step-off".

Hey, I'm only 5'10", but I do have prior experience!

CHOCOLATE TEST TASTER:
Speaks for itself, doesn't it?

Forget that! I'm offering to be a CHOCOLATE SUPPLIER.

 

[BigShoeStu]

I just thought of another service I can offer:

SEAT FILLER:
Have an extra ticket to Blue Man Group? Penn & Teller? Cirque de Solei? MGM Grand Lunch Buffet? I would be happy to fill the seat for you. I will behave like a Gentleman, dress appropriately and speak with a French accent or most other dialects.