That article starts "Now, I'm the most sceptical person on the planet."
Which is ironic as it should start:
"Now I, LIZ JONES, utterly feeble writer for the Mail Online am either the most credulous moron on the planet, or I will write any crap for money, or a combination of the two. Either way, read any of my pathetic drivel at your own risk and, yes, the amazing part of this story that seems to defy common sense, scientific analysis and generally accepted reason is that I get paid for this rubbish."
And the reader took one look at the woman and "a bottle" came to mind?
What a gift.