Are 72 Virgins really enough for all eternity?

[Ed]

If not, were the 9/11 hijackers sold a bill of goods?

Is this like buying Manhattan for $24? Eternity is a long time.

Dunno, just popped into my mind.

And as they are deflowered, do they go away? I mean you are promised 72 virgins, not 72 well used women. Could this mean that you can have a maximum of 72 sexual interludes over all eternity? Could this be a cosmic scam? Is Mohammad Atta practicing self abuse as I write this?

I am troubled.

 

[Random]

Any number divided by infinity is pretty gosh darned small. I know seventy two virgins wouldn't get me through eternity.

Maybe if I had some sort of reset button that I could push to start the whole thing over again when I wanted...

 

[Ed]

Any number divided by infinity is pretty gosh darned small. I know seventy two virgins wouldn't get me through eternity.

Maybe if I had some sort of reset button that I could push to start the whole thing over again when I wanted...

Maybe this is really a punishment.....I hate theology, makes my head hurt.

Wait, Stevie Wonder said nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin', no that is no help........

 

[American]

They don't say if they're pretty virgins, nor even if they're women.

It could be 72 CentralScrutinizers you're getting...

 

[kerfer]

On planet X, there are no virgins.




Apparently, the 72 virgins are not for the sole purpose of the martyr in question, but, rather, the same 72 virgins are shared by all martyrs. (ewww)

How they remain virgins is a mystery to me (IT'S A MIRACLE!) , but that isn't the silliest religious thing I've ever heard.

 

[kalen]

Personally, I would prefer 72 experienced professionals.

 

[Frank Newgent]

If not, were the 9/11 hijackers sold a bill of goods?

Is this like buying Manhattan for $24? Eternity is a long time.

Dunno, just popped into my mind.

And as they are deflowered, do they go away? I mean you are promised 72 virgins, not 72 well used women. Could this mean that you can have a maximum of 72 sexual interludes over all eternity? Could this be a cosmic scam? Is Mohammad Atta practicing self abuse as I write this?

Hmmm. Heard of this before...

Strangelove:

Mr. President, I would not rule out the chance to preserve a nucleus of human specimens. It would be quite easy... heh heh... at the bottom of ah ... some of our deeper mineshafts. The radioactivity would never penetrate a mine some thousands of feet deep. And in a matter of weeks, sufficient improvements in dwelling space could easily be provided.


Muffley:

How long would you have to stay down there?


Strangelove:

Well let's see now ah... Radioactive halflife of uh,... hmm.. I would think that uh... possibly uh... one hundred years.


Muffley:

You mean, people could actually stay down there for a hundred years?


Strangelove:

It would not be difficult mein Fuhrer! Nuclear reactors could, heh... I'm sorry. Mr. President. Nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely. Greenhouses could maintain plantlife. Animals could be bred and slaughtered. A quick survey would have to be made of all the available mine sites in the country. But I would guess... that ah, dwelling space for several hundred thousands of our people could easily be provided.


Muffley:

Well I... I would hate to have to decide.. who stays up and.. who goes down.


Strangelove:

Well, that would not be necessary Mr. President. It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And a computer could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross section of necessary skills. Of course it would be absolutely vital that our top government and military men be included to foster and impart the required principles of leadership and tradition. Arrrrr! Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh? There would be much time, and little to do. But ah with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of say, ten females to each male, I would guess that they could then work their way back to the present gross national product within say, twenty years.


Muffley:

But look here doctor, wouldn't this nucleus of survivors be so grief stricken and anguished that they'd, well, envy the dead and not want to go on living?


Strangelove:

No sir... Excuse me. Also when... when they go down into the mine everyone would still be alive. There would be no shocking memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those left behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!


Turgidson:

Doctor, you mentioned the ration of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?


Strangelove:

Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.


DeSadeski:

I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.



http://www.visual-memory.co.uk/amk/doc/0055.html

 

[Mycroft]

And as they are deflowered, do they go away? I mean you are promised 72 virgins, not 72 well used women. Could this mean that you can have a maximum of 72 sexual interludes over all eternity? Could this be a cosmic scam? Is Mohammad Atta practicing self abuse as I write this?

I think the point of making them virgins is not that virgins are so great to have sex with (they're not, in my experience) but that being virgins they have no experience with other men and have nothing to compare you with. That way if you bust your nut early, can’t get the wood for proper insertion, or need something weird to bring you to the finish line, they don’t know that’s not normal so someone who might have been raised in a sexually repressive society and might feel insecure about that sort of thing wouldn’t have to worry about what they’re thinking of you after the deed is done.

I think Christians like virgins for the same reason.