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Ann Rice trolls Twilight

Checkmite

Skepticifimisticalationist
Checkmite
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No, seriously!

Halloween hijinks! Novelist Ann Rice has trolled all Twihards by posting a controversial message on her Facebook wall:

"Lestat and Louie feel sorry for vampires that sparkle in the sun. They would never hurt immortals who choose to spend eternity going to high school over and over again in a small town — anymore than they would hurt the physically disabled or the mentally challenged. My vampires possess gravitas. They can afford to be merciful."
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The response to those four short sentences has been passionate and overwhelming: At the moment, the post has 8,898 "likes" and 1,886 comments — and counting. Though most folks seem to be team Rice ("Your vampires have alot more going for them then those stupid vampires that sparkle"), many bloodsucker enthusiasts have defended Twilight.
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This is hilarious. I don't read any vampire fiction whatsoever, but I recognizes a well-played act of trollism when I sees one.
 
Rice's vampire was played by Tom Cruise. I'd keep quiet if I were her.
 
I'll side with Whedon on this debate:

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Why is he still in school that 104 year old vampire? Havent seen the films or anything and just curious if that question is adressed.
 
Yxskaft said:
Why is he still in school that 104 year old vampire? Havent seen the films or anything and just curious if that question is adressed.
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Because the author of the story is just another in a long line of terrible authors trying to cash in on brain dead readers. My take on it? This vampire was born in a time when a complete education wasn't necessary to function in the workforce like it is now. And when he was 'turned' it made it an easy decision to leave school in order to protect himself from human society, which almost had certainly would have tried to kill him had they found out about his affliction.

For a long, long time his lack of complete education didn't hurt him any but as time went on the workplace became more competitive and education more of a necessity he knew he needed to complete that education in order to continue functioning in modern society, which has become more tolerant of vampires. However it took a sympathetic human to to encourage and 'give him a push' in order to make that leap because he was still hesitant about trusting normal people.

...

10 minutes is how much time it took me to come up with a better plot than whoever wrote Twilight.
 
Mudcat said:
Because the author of the story is just another in a long line of terrible authors trying to cash in on brain dead readers.
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In defense of Stephanie Meyers (and as much as I loathe to do it) I do not believe she was simple "trying to cash in on brain dead readers". I honestly believe that she wanted to tell a story, and I honestly believe she was writing for a specific audience, the young adult. Additionally, she had other agenda items that she wanted to check off: she wanted a "clean" love story, and she wanted to link certain items with her own religious beliefs.

My take on it?

[snip]

10 minutes is how much time it took me to come up with a better plot than whoever wrote Twilight.
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I actually like this.
 
Mudcat said:
What, for real? Talk about your implausible plot holes.
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No, this is not for real. It was a joke.

In the books, the "family" tries to integrate themselves into society. They do this by moving into an area, placing the "children" into classes that are roughly age-appropriate depending on when they were turned, and then going through the motions of education for whatever number of years seems appropriate. I believe some of the "family" even went on to college, or at least claimed too. I don't recall the exact details.
 
Yxskaft said:
Why is he still in school that 104 year old vampire? Havent seen the films or anything and just curious if that question is adressed.
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Because high school girls are easier to prey upon than adults.
 
Information Analyst said:
Yeah, but it wasn't like she had a choice - she originaly wanted Julian Sands.
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Now that would have been an awesome casting choice. In the midst of this trolling of one psycho author by another psycho author, my old World of Darkness vampire and werewolf sensibilities are finding that things weren't so bad back then. At least Fortitude didn't make you sparkly and being a Garou didn't mean you had to have the fashion sense of Iggy Pop.
 
I prefer the Andrew Futral version:

"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity...Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend".
 
Mudcat said:
Why is he still in school that 104 year old vampire? Havent seen the films or anything and just curious if that question is adressed.
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My take on it? This vampire was born in a time when a complete education wasn't necessary to function in the workforce like it is now.
...
For a long, long time his lack of complete education didn't hurt him any but as time went on the workplace became more competitive and education more of a necessity...
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If I remember though, in the movie don't they have a wall with all of the graduate caps/mortarboards from when he graduated? Looks like he keeps going back to school over and over again, supposedly even after he learned what he needed to.

Must have been incredibly boring. Unless he was like the character in the movie 50 First Dates who couldn't remember anything long term.
 
Segnosaur said:
If I remember though, in the movie don't they have a wall with all of the graduate caps/mortarboards from when he graduated? Looks like he keeps going back to school over and over again, supposedly even after he learned what he needed to.

Must have been incredibly boring. Unless he was like the character in the movie 50 First Dates who couldn't remember anything long term.
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I just picture him as an immortal version of David Wooderson from Dazed And Confused. High school girls stay the same age... and so does he.
 
RobRoy said:
In defense of Stephanie Meyers (and as much as I loathe to do it) I do not believe she was simple "trying to cash in on brain dead readers". I honestly believe that she wanted to tell a story, and I honestly believe she was writing for a specific audience, the young adult. Additionally, she had other agenda items that she wanted to check off: she wanted a "clean" love story, and she wanted to link certain items with her own religious beliefs.


I actually like this.
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Fair enough then - if her religion involves bestiality and necrophilia who am I to say that she shouldn't write about her beliefs?
 
Segnosaur said:
If I remember though, in the movie don't they have a wall with all of the graduate caps/mortarboards from when he graduated? Looks like he keeps going back to school over and over again, supposedly even after he learned what he needed to.
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Well, immortality largely consists of boredom. He can't die, unless he doesn't drink enough blood or gets torn apart by another vampire. Also, "the family" is trying to maintain a facade of normality, so that they can interact with humans. This is an attempt to retain their own humanity, to whatever degree, and continue being "vegetarian" vampires. As Edward is physically a seventeen year-old, it makes sense that his interaction would be via high school and college, no matter how many trips.

Meyers makes a mistake (one of many) in her thinking/writing, by pairing off the other Cullens, and then separating the clan from the students in general. It would seem that they should intentionally interact with the humans, if that's the reason for being in school in the first place.

This does, however, make it easier to write the one-on-one interaction between Bella and Edward, without the messiness of other teens falling in love with the other vampires. Meyers tries to make up for this by giving Edward the power to read minds, thus at 104 years old, he's incredibly turned-off by the single-minded and selfish nature of most teens (and humans in general). She then makes Bella "special" by not letting Edward see how single-minded and selfish she is by nature.

Lamuella said:
plus a werewolf falling in love with a baby.
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It's not that kind of love.
 
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