Advice on Arachnophobia/Hypnotherapy

[tkingdoll]

Hi all,

I have a very severe fear of spiders, to the point where it is actually very disruptive to my life and pretty debilitating. It rules my everyday actions and emotions. For instance I cannot go into the bathroom without sending my husband in first to check, I cannot sit on the floor or leave anything lying on the floor, I can't go to sleep without checking every inch of the bedroom etc. I won't set foot in the garage and I am constantly on the 'alert', scanning the room, the car, my clothes etc.

If I do actually encounter a spider, my reaction is extreme hysterics, violent physical shaking, nasuea, screaming, crying etc, then a sort of 'shock' state which can last for hours.

So, obviously I'm sick of this. It's stupid and irrational and makes me angry. I have installed plug-in devices that allegedly emit a high-pitch noise that creates a barrier, I have used herbal sprays that spiders find offensive, etc, but these things do not guarantee zero spiders, and zero spiders is the only 'reasonable' amount of spiders I can handle.

It is me who has the problem, and I shoud fix it. I am seriously considering hypnotherapy but would like some advice before I start spending hundreds of pounds.

I have looked at hypnotherpists' websites in my local area, and most seem to be attached to some sort of 'holistic' health centre that more often than not includes homeopathy and other quack treatments. Obviously this has made me very sceptical indeed! However, I'm not trying to treat a physical illness, it's an error in my subconcious, so I think there may be a difference, but I'm not sure.

Any advice on hypnotherapy and/or arachnophobia would be most appreciated.

 

[tdn]

I am no expert on arachnaphobia, but I have tried to educate myself on phobias in general, having a few myself.

The first thing to learn is that you are not alone. To outsiders, it seems strange and irrational. Hell, it is strange and irrational. But the advice that people may give you to "just get over it" is worse than useless. Feel free to punch these people in the face.

These holistic healers you've been investigating are probably not worth it. Seek advice from an APA approved psychologist who specialises in these sorts of things, then ask for credentials and track record. Ask how she will approach the therapy.

If you can't do all that, here is my homespun advice. And remember, it's worth everything you paid for it.

First off, examine your personal habits. Do you drink a lot of coffee? Alcohol? Are you on any meds? If so, did this fear start when you started taking these things? Sometimes these fears have a pharmacological basis. Try cutting them out.

Secondly, learn some progressive relaxation techniques. There are tons of books on the subject. Get good at it. Learn it as if it were a sport or an art. Master it.

Once that's done, expose yourself to spiders little by little. Start with pictures. If you feel yourself getting anxious, back off and use your relaxation techniques. Remind yourself that you can always get away from the pictures. When you finally get comfortable with pictures, read up on the spiders that live in your area. Make it a fun learning project. Finally, work your way up to real spiders. You don't have to let them crawl on you, but try to spend 10 seconds in the same room as one. Practice your relaxation technique. Turn that 10 seconds into 20.

Most of all, be patient and forgiving with yourself. This make take years, so don't rush it.

Does it work? Meh. See a qualified shrink.

 

[Mosquito]

Hi all,

I have a very severe fear of spiders, to the point where it is actually very disruptive to my life and pretty debilitating. It rules my everyday actions and emotions. For instance I cannot go into the bathroom without sending my husband in first to check, I cannot sit on the floor or leave anything lying on the floor, I can't go to sleep without checking every inch of the bedroom etc. I won't set foot in the garage and I am constantly on the 'alert', scanning the room, the car, my clothes etc.

If I do actually encounter a spider, my reaction is extreme hysterics, violent physical shaking, nasuea, screaming, crying etc, then a sort of 'shock' state which can last for hours.

So, obviously I'm sick of this. It's stupid and irrational and makes me angry. I have installed plug-in devices that allegedly emit a high-pitch noise that creates a barrier, I have used herbal sprays that spiders find offensive, etc, but these things do not guarantee zero spiders, and zero spiders is the only 'reasonable' amount of spiders I can handle.

It is me who has the problem, and I shoud fix it. I am seriously considering hypnotherapy but would like some advice before I start spending hundreds of pounds.

I have looked at hypnotherpists' websites in my local area, and most seem to be attached to some sort of 'holistic' health centre that more often than not includes homeopathy and other quack treatments. Obviously this has made me very sceptical indeed! However, I'm not trying to treat a physical illness, it's an error in my subconcious, so I think there may be a difference, but I'm not sure.

Any advice on hypnotherapy and/or arachnophobia would be most appreciated.

Poor you!

I have arachnophobia too, but luckily nowhere near as bad as you, which allows me to function pretty normal in everyday life, even though my home can be full of the little buggers.

To me, trying to ignore them seems to work for daily operations, they tend to stay away in their little corners and not wander around to much. It takes a little self-control, which I can muster.

I freak out if they get "in my face" or start actually creeping on me or even towards me. I thank my mother for that (she enjoyed scaring us kids with spiders when we were small, and we all suffer arachophobia to this day).

There IS, I believe, help to be gotten for you, though you should stay away from any quacky stuff. They'll charge you 'till you bleed and make you clean up the mess afterwards. Try checking out regular psychiatrists/psychologists, some of them may be able to help or have knowledge on where you can get good help.

One way I seem to have read about, but not really had the guts to try out myself (seeing as my problem isn't all that bad, and other stupid excuses) is to gradually confront them. Maybe you should start reading about them in books, watching them on documentaries and later try to approch them in the real world. But I am not an expert, so this may be some quack advice I've picked up somewhere. It just seems to correspond with other "phobia treatments" (confront your fears to conquer them) I've heard about.

If you manage to get better, your experiences (and the treatment) should be distributed to those of us that may benefit.


Mosquito - wishing you the best

 

[Soapy Sam]

tkingdoll-

I'm a big ugly 50 yr old bloke.

Spiders spook me too.

It's fascinating how specific it is. Scorpions don't bug me (sorry). Wasps and ants are just a pest. Glue two more legs on and I get the heebie-jeebies. Now why is that?

Still, I use a similar live and let live policy to mosquito. I ignore them. They don't eat me. Fair deal. If I have to remove one from the house I use a big glass and cardboard. I'm sure I could catch a wildebeest with my bare hands with less of a fandance.

Next time a spider spooks you- think of me and laugh. Then snigger at yourself. This will save you $$$ and may actually help. You may be a wuss, but there are worse wusses and we wusses is all in it together. (Interesting Ian is even worse- he put Huntsman on ignore because he was scared of Hunt's spider avatar. Have a chuckle at him too. Then get in there and laugh at the itsy bitsy monster.

 

[Ashles]

Also it depends what other facilities might be in your local area.

For example in London Zoo they were (I don't know if they still are) doing courses to help people overcome arachnophobia, and they were supposed to be very good and very quick.

I think they can be fairly well beaten with the help of psychologists.

I have arachnophobia too, but it's never been quite bad enough for me to see anyone about it.
But I really dislike them, and can't empty the shed as a result. And if there is one in any room I will spot it before anyone else, no matter how dark it is, or how small the spider.

Eventual confrontatin is the important thing. It is a self-perpetuating cycle. We fear them because of some unknown (and irrational) threat so we avoid them. By avoiding them we never get to expereince them enough to connect that there is no real threat.
The avoidance makes us continue the fear.

But as far as I understand the fear can be treated very well and arachnophobia can be conquered for most (if not all) people.

So the advice is - avoid any questionable 'holistic' therapies of any sort. Stick to well experienced accredited councellors and psychologists.

And remember - they're more afraid of you than you are of them (and as any arachnophobe knows that isn't true ).

 

[Soapy Sam]

Can't clean the shed indeed. What an excuse!

I took my garage door off today. (Broken spring. )

I discovered four species of spider previously unknown to science, one of which was 1.5 inches across (37 mm) , with poison dripping fangs and big, pointy teeth. *

None of them appeared to be afraid of a 1.83m tall mammal capable of lifting their entire world, then dropping it on his foot because a spider , weight 3.08 nanograms, ran across his finger.

I will never leave home again, as the car is in there and I'm scared to go back.

and tkingdoll thinks SHE has problems.

By the way- is "tkingdoll" a Vulcan name?

* Some facts could not be precisely checked at the time, but are considered accurate.

 

[Mosquito]

tkingdoll-

I'm a big ugly 50 yr old bloke.

Spiders spook me too.

It's fascinating how specific it is. Scorpions don't bug me (sorry). Wasps and ants are just a pest. Glue two more legs on and I get the heebie-jeebies. Now why is that?

It is kinda weird... I also have fear of insects looking like big flying spiders. Had some of these where I grew up. Actually, they look more like massively oversized mosquitos. Probably as dangerous as you average housefly, or maybe less. It's a leg-thingy, I suppose.

Wasps - spooky, 'cause they sting, and that hurts. Same goes for BIG ants. Small ants, who cares? Though not similar to the spiders. There is something *evil* about them spiders.

I'm not quite sure how I stand on the scorpions though, kinda like the wasps, I suppose. More for their stinging capabilities than major phobia. Found one last year, about 15cm long, fast, them buggers!

Interesting also to note that while I've been afraid of spiders for as long as I can remember, none have ever done anything actually aggressive towards me. Unlike f.ex. ants, who I do not fear... Seems to me that my fear of a critter is not in any way related to the capability or willingness of said critter to do harm.

Still, I use a similar live and let live policy to mosquito. I ignore them. They don't eat me. Fair deal. If I have to remove one from the house I use a big glass and cardboard. I'm sure I could catch a wildebeest with my bare hands with less of a fandance.

I did not always have this attitude, though (had to adopt it when I moved here, in order to not go comatosic). And any spider bigger or more ugly than a dandyleg enters my domain on its own risk. Used to use a vacuum cleaner, that is seriously effective, on a individual basis. Unless they are big... Less contact with the evil ones... Otherwise a high-powered shoe can do wonders about any spider-rudeness.

Next time a spider spooks you- think of me and laugh. Then snigger at yourself. This will save you $$$ and may actually help. You may be a wuss, but there are worse wusses and we wusses is all in it together. (Interesting Ian is even worse- he put Huntsman on ignore because he was scared of Hunt's spider avatar. Have a chuckle at him too. Then get in there and laugh at the itsy bitsy monster.

So THAT is why II has Huntsman on ignore! I didn't understand why he was so upset about that hooded figure... Makes sense now

Actually, for all my fear of spiders and vaguely similar critters, I kinda like them. They are cool. How's that for being consistent?


Mosquito

 

[tkingdoll]

Man, everyone is so nice I feel all warm and loved. Thanks for the support everyone!

Tdn, if there's one think I'm lousy at, it's relaxing (although I am very lazy, they aren't the same thing). As far as personal lifestyle goes, my habits are pretty healthy. I am one of those rare weirdos, a tee-totaller, and I don't drink anything with caffeine in it (I do eat my fair share of chocolate though so I'm no saint).

I will look into the relaxation thing, there's a huge mental block to overcome though, because if I was lying a darkened room trying to concentrate, only one thought would be crawling through my mind: is there a spider about to drop on my head??!!!

Soapy Sam, you are so right about how hilariously specific it is. I can pick up a daddy longlegs, no problem. Little tiny spiders and tarantulas don't bother me (I even held one once, it pooed on me), but put a 4 cm house spider in the same room, and I'd kill anyone to get to the door. My sister is scared of thunderstorms and I think she's nuts. Go figure.

Ashles, I will definitely look into that London Zoo thing, now you mention it it rings a bell but from quite a way back. Thanks.

I wish I could believe that they are more scared of me than I of them, but with the spiders, they KNOW I hate them and they do it on purpose. How else do you explain that it's only me that discovers them, never my husband? And don't give me any of that "because I'm the one obsessively on the lookout" reasoning. You can prove anything with facts. Heh. My irrational fear reaches a new low! I might write a movie. Arachnophobia 2: This Time, It's Personal.

No, I don't think I've gone as far as thinking they actively stalk me. I do get awfully bad luck though, last year we lived in a house that happened to be the International Spider Headquarters of the Known World. We even had a spider nest hatch in our bed. Gross, I'm shuddering even as I type.

Tkingdoll is my actual name, T for Tracy, King for...erm, King, and the doll is bit is an old nickname. But I may or may not be a Vulcan Princess.

 

[Mosquito]

Also it depends what other facilities might be in your local area.

For example in London Zoo they were (I don't know if they still are) doing courses to help people overcome arachnophobia, and they were supposed to be very good and very quick.

I think they can be fairly well beaten with the help of psychologists.

I have arachnophobia too, but it's never been quite bad enough for me to see anyone about it.
But I really dislike them, and can't empty the shed as a result. And if there is one in any room I will spot it before anyone else, no matter how dark it is, or how small the spider.

Eventual confrontatin is the important thing. It is a self-perpetuating cycle. We fear them because of some unknown (and irrational) threat so we avoid them. By avoiding them we never get to expereince them enough to connect that there is no real threat.
The avoidance makes us continue the fear.

But as far as I understand the fear can be treated very well and arachnophobia can be conquered for most (if not all) people.

So the advice is - avoid any questionable 'holistic' therapies of any sort. Stick to well experienced accredited councellors and psychologists.

And remember - they're more afraid of you than you are of them (and as any arachnophobe knows that isn't true ).

Good post.

Now, go clean that shed. Confront your fears, don't let them control you. Who's da boss? You? Or that 3.08ng spider? Hmm? If Soapy can live to tell about it, so can you.

Do they (London Zoo et.al.) start with small spiders or do they use the bigger ones for this purpose? I have this (very unconfirmed) feeling that it would be easier to fix the phobia with big spiders than with small ones, but I've been rather good at not exposing myself to big spiders, so I don't really know.

Now, millipedes, them are cute creatures! But don't crush them.


Mosquito - fear of forms, not numbers

 

[Mosquito]

I will look into the relaxation thing, there's a huge mental block to overcome though, because if I was lying a darkened room trying to concentrate, only one thought would be crawling through my mind: is there a spider about to drop on my head??!!!

Sceptically speaking, on the off chance that one does, you wouldn't notice it. They are not heavy, so if you don't see it, you'll never know it was there. Well, MOST spiders are not heavy.

Soapy Sam, you are so right about how hilariously specific it is. I can pick up a daddy longlegs, no problem. Little tiny spiders and tarantulas don't bother me (I even held one once, it pooed on me), but put a 4 cm house spider in the same room, and I'd kill anyone to get to the door. My sister is scared of thunderstorms and I think she's nuts. Go figure.

You can pick up spiders?

No true arachnophobe would do that... And you have no problems doing so?

Me thinks you are pulling our legs...


Mosquito

 

[Perpetual Notion]

Tkingdoll,

I'm sorry to hear about your spider thing. My DH is terrified and I have to do all the spider squashing even though he's much bigger than me - and the spiders as I constantly point out to him.

I had a phobia about flying and didn't get on a plane for five years. I thought about flying and how I was going to die in a plane crash every single day during that time. Eventually I went to see a counselor and we used relaxation techniques in conjunction with cognative behavioral therapy. We figured out that my fear developed on a flight home after a horrible visit with my family and by going back over that visit, the fear almost entirely subsided. You might have something like that going on as well. Good luck to you.

Oh, and don't feel like too much of a freak. My therapist told me she once worked with someone who would move house every time she found a spider.

 

[tdn]

You can pick up spiders?

No true arachnophobe would do that... And you have no problems doing so?

Me thinks you are pulling our legs...

She must be pulling our legs, because otherwise her phobia would be so, uh...

...irrational.

 

[tdn]

Oh, and don't feel like too much of a freak. My therapist told me she once worked with someone who would move house every time she found a spider.

Youch. That's bad.

It's amazing how much phobias can control your life. I have a fear of heights (getting better) and it's amazing the dangerous things I would do to avoid crossing bridges. Like running across 8 lanes of rush hour traffic. I've heard of people with that fear jumping from tall buildings rather that experience the fear of being in such a high place. I'd never do that myself, but I can certainly understand the feeling.

 

[UKBoy1977]

Hi all, I have attended London Zoo's half-day spider therapy course (called the Friendly Spider Programme) and would highly recommend it or anything similar in your area.

Firstly, on a scale of 1 to 10 for arachnophobia I would say I was about an 8 before the day. Not as extreme as the original poster, but not too far off.

Anyway, the day starts with a lecture and Q & A session with a spider expert. Learning about spiders (as recommended by someone above) is a great strategy as it makes you realise what fascinating creatures they are and, most importantly, how they haven't been put on this earth simply to scare the **** out of you (no, realy they haven't!) This lasts about 90 mins and left me quite geared up to go down to the spider house and test myself.

Then there was the hypnosis session. Don;t believe in it at all, but it was a nice lie down for 20 mins and probably was beneficial as it relaxed me ready to go and see some arachnids!

Then everyone goes down to the spider house. There are 2 things to do here. Both are optional but to get your certificate you have to do the first one. This is basically catching a house spider under a plastic cup, sliding some paper underneath and walking round the room once. Basically learnign to deal with them rather than have to kill them or simply run away! First you do it with a still spider, then they repeat it and make the spider run across the table so you have to catch a moving target!

Also they have a spider in a glass tank which is if you are feeling really brave! You can touch this one and even pick it up. I was one of only 2 to touch this spdier. I let it run over my hands (I almost can't believe it now!) but I couldn't quite manage to pick it up as when I tried it went hyper and it was freaking me out a bit!

The other part is they have a Mexican red-kneed bird-eating spider there for you to hold. This was actually the easy part. These spiders are (sort of!) pretty and they don't move much at all, and I think it is the movement which freaks most people out.

Anyway, after wards I would have to say I was down to about a 3 or 4 out of 10. Since then (it was about 2 years ago) I feel I have gotten a little worse again simply through lack of practice. I don't encounter spiders that often so you don't get to use the techniques which would really help to reinforce everything. However when I do I try to give myself the logical talk about how spiders are safe and everything (basic CBT) and it definitely does help. I no longer let the fear of encountering spiders affect my life at all and for that alone it was worthwhile.

 

[tkingdoll]

You can pick up spiders?

No true arachnophobe would do that... And you have no problems doing so?

Me thinks you are pulling our legs...


Mosquito

No, I'm not pulling your legs (8 or 2 of them). I'd never joke about such an issue, it really is ruling my life.

I have picked up a tarantula yes, I'm not particularly scared of them, because I don't get them in my house. What I'm petrified of is the common old house spider. Part of the fear is the 'seeing them in unexpected domestic places' issue. Like, in the bath. It's the darkness against the normally blemish-free smooth whiteness that makes me freak, and that's only if the b*stard doesn't move. If they move, I have been known to throw up through sheer hysterics. I couldn't stay in a room with one, let alone pick it up. I think I would literally drop dead of a heart attack if one touched me.

If that makes me not a 'true' arachnophobe, then so be it! I shall christen myself a housespiderophobe instead.

Daddy longlegs look very much like a flying spider, yet they don't bother me at all. It's so stupid, I will see a shadow in the corner and freeze on the spot, heart pounding. After the split second it takes me to determine that it is not a spider, I will think "oh, it's OK, it's just a moth/daddy longlegs/ghost of Jack the Ripper", and I won't be scared anymore.

The REALLY irrational part is that I am actually angry at the spiders for, get this, trespassing. It really makes my blood boil. I genuinely believe they have no damn right to be in my home. How ridiculous is that?

UKBoy1977 (interesting name btw!), thanks for that information, I am definitely going to give them a call tomorrow. Although imagining myself catching a spider under a cup makes me queasy

 

[EdipisReks]

i like big spiders, but little ones creep me out. i have an irratonial fear of them getting in my ears and nose while i sleep. it's not bad enough for me to do something about it, though. except use fire.

 

[UKBoy1977]

It is very common for people to be more scared of house spiders than big tarantulas. Many people held the big spider on this course but no-one (except me!) touched the house spider.

I agree part of it is the darkness (black body against light background) but I think the key issue is the movement. The way the legs fly about when they run. If the bird eating spider had started running up my arm that would have been a whole different matter!

 

[tkingdoll]

It is very common for people to be more scared of house spiders than big tarantulas. Many people held the big spider on this course but no-one (except me!) touched the house spider.

I agree part of it is the darkness (black body against light background) but I think the key issue is the movement. The way the legs fly about when they run. If the bird eating spider had started running up my arm that would have been a whole different matter!

Kudos for touching them all! I take great heart from your experiences, thank you.

The movement is disgusting, yes. They scuttle in a way that no living thing should. Too fast, too many legs, too many angles. But a spider moving slowly is even more horrendous. They really do seem to creep with malicious intent.

 

[UKBoy1977]

I think the key to arachnophobia is the deep, irrational fear that they are pure, unadulterated evil and if one was to ever get on you it would just be the end of the world! Yet I can never pinpoint exactly what I fear they would do. Even now I try to challenge my fear and say 'Why would it be so bad if one was on you? Well it would head for my face! And what if it did, why would that be so bad? Err, I don't know!'

When you do a course like this and learn about spiders it allows you to put it all into context. They are not here to scare you, they are just going abouttheir business trying to catch insects. They can't even see you properly you're just a lump. They don't run towards you deliberately, they are not stupid, they don't want to get stepped on!

In this way you can start to empathise with the spider and see the world from it's point of view and realise how silly the idea is that it's out to get you. When we see a spider in your room, in our minds it's looking at us thinking 'Haha, I've come to scare you!' whereas in fact it's more like 'Hungry, need a fly. What's that bloody great thing over there. ****, better run!'

OK it probably thinks nothing of the sort but it's comforting to know that's closer to the truth!

 

[tkingdoll]

I think the key to arachnophobia is the deep, irrational fear that they are pure, unadulterated evil and if one was to ever get on you it would just be the end of the world! Yet I can never pinpoint exactly what I fear they would do. Even now I try to challenge my fear and say 'Why would it be so bad if one was on you? Well it would head for my face! And what if it did, why would that be so bad? Err, I don't know!'

Same here. You can understand a fear of flying, plane crashes do happen. My sister's fear of thunderstorms is actually a fear of being hit by lightning, which would hurt a lot and maybe kill you. Birds can peck your eyes out, snakes can bite.

But spiders? What are they going to do, crawl me to death?

It is so, so irrational. I'm a 29-year-old intelligent ( ) woman and yet I haven't been to the bathroom since 3pm today because there's an 8-legged monster in there (that incident prompted this thread, btw).