The stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle?
I have two favourite lines from that:
"Yon lion's et Albert!"
and
"Eee, I am vexed!"
That's the one!
My father in law used to recite that entire story perfectly ~ entertaining as 'ell.
And those lines you identified are two of my favourites too (though it's a lot better live than in print and Charlie always said it as "oooo, I am vexed" rather than "eee, I am vexed"), next to "At that mother got proper blazin'; "Thank you sir, kindly, says she; "Wot? Spend all our lives raising children to feed ruddy lions? Not me!"
For those of you who have no idea what we're talking about, it's here:
http://people.bath.ac.uk/su3bugs/songs/song/alblion.htm
but again, it's much better in recitation than in print.
Edit to add: my daughter actually found and bought a "stick with an 'orses 'ead 'andle" for her grandpa Charlie when she was about 10 years old as a direct result of his recitation of this over the years, and she's never forgotten the story or his recitation of it.
Edit to also add: I have the original old book that Charlie had decades ago... and the follow up to the initial story is hilarious "The Return of Albert"... do you know of it?
It's the follow up story that the "tuppence per person per week" line actually comes from, but your two pence reference put me in mind of the story which I hadn't thought about for quite some time.
/derail
