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A message from George Carlin

elliotfc

Master Poster
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Aug 14, 2003
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I don't send this to espouse or champion any of the sentiments. I don't send this because it is eloquent. I send this because it is philosophical and not quite what I expected from George Carlin. I am beyond impressed.

-Elliot

GEORGE CARLIN POST 9-11 (His wife recently died...)

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just
hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be here again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... who cares?

George Carlin
 
George Carlin claiming we "pray too seldom"?

Not according to Snopes

The essay has since been attributed to comedian George Carlin, an unnamed Columbine High School student, and that most prolific of scribes, Anonymous.

George Carlin very emphatically denied he had had anything to do with "Paradox," a piece he referred to as "a sappy load of ◊◊◊◊," and posted his comments about being associated with this essay on his own web site.

The true author of the piece is neither George Carlin nor Jeff Dickson, nor is he anonymous. Credit belongs with Dr. Bob Moorehead, former pastor of Seattle's Overlake Christian Church.
 
Not only did George Carlin not write this piece, but he describes it on his site as follows:
One of the more embarrassing items making the internet/e-mail rounds is a sappy load of ◊◊◊◊ called "The Paradox of Our Time." The main problem I have with it is that as true as some of the expressed sentiments may be, who really gives a ◊◊◊◊? Certainly not me.
{snip}
Another problem I have with "Paradox" is that the ideas are all expressed in a sort of pseudo-spiritual, New-Age-y, "Gee-whiz-can't-we-do-better-than-this" tone of voice. It's not only bad prose and poetry, it's weak philosophy. I hope I never sound like that.

I can't help but agree with him. As Snopes points out, the real originator of this particular cliche collection is former pastor Dr. Bob Moorehead, an unsavory character if there ever was one.
Those intent upon taking inspiration from "Paradox" should consider the following: during Bob Moorehead's tenure as pastor of Overlake Christian Church, seventeen members of his congregation reported that he had sexually assaulted them. These allegations, which surfaced in 1997, prompted his resignation in 1998. After a year of publicly supporting Moorehead the church elders withdrew their support, their own investigation into the charges having led them to conclude their pastor had indeed been guilty of molesting a number of male churchgoers.
 
The "his wife recently died" part raised a red flag. Thanks for looking it up on snopes to save me the research time.

As a fan, I was looking for his response after 9-11, but it was basically, 'this is too heavy, lets talk about something else', (although he didn't say that, he didn't say anything).

His normal routine is "hooray for entropy" and "down with the self-important".
 
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,

I am unsure why the author is implying that slow food and fast digestion are preferable.
 
elliotfc said:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
I kinda liked that sentence.

The rest of it's pretty crappy, though.
 
I can see the source of confusion. You can imagine it being said with the kind of cadence and tone that Carlin would use. It's the same as that high school commencement speech that was attributed to Kurt Vonnegut a few years ago. You could imagine that it sounds like him in tone, but the content doesn't fit. Carlin would never give utterance to such cloying sentimentality.
 
I think the Vonnegut thing you refer to is real. Do you mean the "Wear sunscreen" one?
I thought it was an address given to a graduating class, and he published it either in Palm Sunday or Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons. Or maybe Fates Worse Than Death?

As I don't have either book here, I can't be sure--can somebody tell me without going to too much trouble? (Check your copy?)

I'd also welcome being proven wrong...
 
Voob said:
I think the Vonnegut thing you refer to is real. Do you mean the "Wear sunscreen" one?
I thought it was an address given to a graduating class, and he published it either in Palm Sunday or Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons. Or maybe Fates Worse Than Death?

As I don't have either book here, I can't be sure--can somebody tell me without going to too much trouble? (Check your copy?)

I'd also welcome being proven wrong...

Hokey smokes, people, you all have access to the internet and it is just as easy for you to type in www.snopes.com as it is for anyone else.

No, it is not a commencement address by Kurt Vonnegut.
 
Tricky said:

While you're on Snopes, be sure to check out Lost Legends. There's a very important message there.

Finally, after all these years, proof that Mr. Ed was a zebra.

And you all said I was crazy, HAH! Look who gets to wear the viking helmet now!
 
I know about the snopes page.

I just wanted someone to check their copies of those books, on the slim chance that even snopes was incorrect.
@@@@@
Edited to say that sure enough, it ain't true.

Hmmm. Maybe he put it in one of his books as an example of "Look at this speech that everyone thought was me."...no, maybe not...
All those books I mentioned were published before the speech ever appeared. I've been had!

Oh, and did you know that a duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why?:rolleyes: :mad:
 

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