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A Conspiracy theory so Dumb it practically debunks itself.

Crazy Chainsaw

Philosopher
Joined
Aug 12, 2006
Messages
8,339
The Dumbest Conspiracy theory ever,
has too be that Nancy Pelosi, tried to have Ron Paul's Waco Whackos, (the Oath Keepers) and Donald John Trump's Fasist Proud Boys, Murder Nancy Pelosi in an attack on the Capitol on January 6th 2021.
That conspiracy even beats out the Space Lasers vaporizing the Twin Towers on 9/11/2001.
What are your thoughts have conspiracy theorists really gotten so dumb they are self debunking their own Conspiracy theories?
 
I've said this before that Conspiracy Theories sorta jumped the shark a while back, part of our lovely transitional period into a post-fact world.

Okay let's look at arguably the two Ur Examples, Kennedy and 9/11.

Okay so there's a bajillion and one versions of each but let's break down their basics.

Kennedy: The general (of course there were variations but this was the most common) was that some... force wanted Kennedy dead. So they got an assassin to kill him from the grassy knoll, faked the evidence to make it look like Oswald had shot him from the School Book Depository, and had Oswald killed before he could say anything.

Now that's not what happened... but at least that's a good story. It's logically internally consistent, it just falls apart if you start looking at outside evidence. If you saw the Kennedy Conspiracy Scenario like in a spy movie, you could follow it as a narrative.

Now let's look at the Twoofers.

The United States government decides to fake a terrorist attack because reasons. So they fly fake planes full of people who never existed into the World Trade Centers which were also rigged to detonate with magic explosives. They then shoot a cruise missile at the Pentagon and say it is a plane. They create a narrative of heroic passengers that didn't exist taking down one of the flights before it can be used in a terrorist attack... I guess to give the story some heroic angle because of reasons. They then... attack a country who was harboring a terrorist who was already an international wanted man and later a country that had nothing to do with anything because... oil I guess.

See the difference? That doesn't make sense even if you believe it. It's just random nonsense that doesn't fit together or form a narrative. The actions and the motivations of the conspirators doesn't make any sense even within the context of the scenario we're being told.

IT'S STUPID EVEN IF YOU BELIEVE IT. It can't even be wrong right.
 
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That's how I set up my crimes - make them look so stupid that nobody will believe they happened.

I've said this before that Conspiracy Theories sorta jumped the shark a while back, part of our lovely transitional period into a post-fact world.

Okay let's look at arguably the two Ur Examples, Kennedy and 9/11.

Okay so there's a bajillion and one versions of reach but let's break down their basics.

Kennedy: The general (of course there were variations but this was the most common) was that some... force wanted Kennedy dead. So they got an assassin to kill him from the grassy knoll, faked the evidence to make it look like Oswald had shot him from the School Book Depository, and had Oswald killed before he could say anything.

Now that's not what happened... but at least that's a good story. It's logically internally consistent, it just falls apart if you start looking at outside evidence. If you saw the Kennedy Conspiracy Scenario like in a spy movie, you could follow it as a narrative.

Now let's look at the Twoofers.

The United States government decides to fake a terrorist attack because reasons. So they fly fake planes full of people who never existed into the World Trade Centers which were also rigged to detonate with magic explosives. They then shoot a cruise missile at the Pentagon and say it is a plane. They create a narrative of heroic passengers that didn't exist taking down one of the flights before it can be used in a terrorist attack... I guess to give the story some heroic angle because of reasons. They then... attack a country who was harboring a terrorist who was already an international wanted man and later a country that had nothing to do with anything because... oil I guess.

See the difference? That doesn't make sense even if you believe it. It's just random nonsense that doesn't fit together or form a narrative. The actions and the motivations of the conspirators doesn't make any sense even within the context of the scenario we're being told.

IT'S STUPID EVEN IF YOU BELIEVE IT. It can't even be wrong right.

Exactly perfect description of the alternative facts age.
 
It always boils down to the enemy being a Vampire: completely overpowered, yet at the same time ridiculously vulnerable in a myriad of ways.
Clinton is so powerful that she can murder and rape at will, but can be brought to justice with just a $10 donation to my reelection campaign.
 
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It always boils down to the enemy being a Vampire: completely overpowered, yet at the same time ridiculously vulnerable in a myriad of ways.
Clinton is so powerful that she can murder and rape at will, but can be brought to justice with just a $10 donation to my reelection campaign.

It also, almost always, requires the Evil Conspiracy to at a random point just stop lying for no reason.

Okay so President Bush and Vice Presidency Chaney just woke up one more and decided to invade Iraq for the Oil. So they made up a lie that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. So they invaded Iraq and after a few weeks/months admitted they couldn't find WMDs.

Why? Why didn't they keep lying? Why not plant some evidence or print up some fake nuclear weapons plans and "find" them in Saddam's desk drawer or something?
 
That's how I set up my crimes - make them look so stupid that nobody will believe they happened.

"It's.... so dumb."
"So dumb it's brilliant!"
"NO! It's just dumb."

(One of the greatest exchanges in recent movie history.)
 
It's what I call The Dallas Police Theory - "Why attribute to to conspiracy what can be explained as incompetence?"
 
At it's base the one thing that pre-fact and post-fact conspiracy theories share is the idea that a bad answer is better than "there's no specific single 'answer' the world is just a chaotic place sometimes." They would rather be scared of one central blamable "evil" than a world where the crap and the fan intersecting is just a thing that can happen.

Penn Jillette once showed a clip where a conspiracy theorist went, in a scoffing, dismissive tone "Oh come on now. Do you think Oswald just woke up one morning and decided to shoot the President?" to which he replied flatly "Yes. That's just not a very sexy answer."

It's why the WMD story about the Iraq War got popular. Because people would rather belief that their own government is that weirdly specific kind of conspiratorial evil rather than the sad truth that the most powerful nation on the planet just got duped by the strutting machinations of a 3rd world dictator.
 
At it's base the one thing that pre-fact and post-fact conspiracy theories share is the idea that a bad answer is better than "there's no specific single 'answer' the world is just a chaotic place sometimes." They would rather be scared of one central blamable "evil" than a world where the crap and the fan intersecting is just a thing that can happen.

Penn Jillette once showed a clip where a conspiracy theorist went, in a scoffing, dismissive tone "Oh come on now. Do you think Oswald just woke up one morning and decided to shoot the President?" to which he replied flatly "Yes. That's just not a very sexy answer."

It's why the WMD story about the Iraq War got popular. Because people would rather belief that their own government is that weirdly specific kind of conspiratorial evil rather than the sad truth that the most powerful nation on the planet just got duped by the strutting machinations of a 3rd world dictator.

I know trust me I know they can't deal with reality as it is.
 

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