100% accurate horoscopes : no predictions

[iain]

I've noticed that the weekly horoscope in the Observer (UK) manages to avoid the normal horoscope pitfall of being completely wrong by not actually making any predictions at all. Still pretty bad, but you can't really say they are wrong.

For example, my horoscope for the coming week reads

Saturn is the planet of the hard haul, issues you are dealing with now become long term implications, so forget the quick fix. That isn't the same as not trying a different tack; with the maverick Uranus the other big player in your affairs, the unconventional is your ally. Talking of allies, you have a whole herd of them on your side this week; call in a few favours, share a few cocktails.

Maybe you could see the first sentence as having a prediction, but I'm not sure. How would I tell that an issue has become a "long term implication" (whatever that is) this week? After that, there's nothing. This doesn't even seem to fit the vague predictions that the likes of Sylvia Brown make - there's just nothing here at all. Wonder how much Neil Spencer gets paid for writing these?

 

[TruthSeeker]

My fav is Rob Brezny's way of not saying anything at all. Here's Virgo for this week:

Speaking on your behalf, I hereby give notice to the cosmos that it must try harder to please you. Its lukewarm support will no longer be considered sufficient for your needs. Its roundabout approach to helping you fulfill your dreams must become more direct and straightforward -- or else! Specifically, I demand that the gods, fates, dispensers of karma, or however they want to be referred to, must, no later than March 13, 2004, begin to provide you with a steady stream of satisfying interpersonal encounters. This must include, though it is not limited to, more tender intimacy, more engaging friendships, and more interesting conversations.

Ummm...OK...so I guess the cosmos or whatever said "NO"

 

[Kerberos]

quote:
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Saturn is the planet of the hard haul, issues you are dealing with now become long term implications, so forget the quick fix. That isn't the same as not trying a different tack; with the maverick Uranus the other big player in your affairs, the unconventional is your ally. Talking of allies, you have a whole herd of them on your side this week; call in a few favours, share a few cocktails.
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That one seems practically a fountain of unambiguousness compared to this one (loosely translating and from memory):
"no guts, no glory - you should be aware however that this attitude is not without risks"

 

[Quasi]

We recently had a discussion of Myers-Briggs and Jung here, and one of my peers claimed M-B was 100% accurate. We took the same test, albeit it was a "sampler" designed to get you to pay for the whole reading. Guess what, it was exactly the same, word for word, and we are not very similar in our personalities or goals etc. It ended the debate quickly. I pointed out is was only about 30% accurate, and very vague at that. One claim was not applicable (family and friends will support you in times of crisis.) Rather funny, but a good scam, just cut and paste some horoscope garbage, clean out the astrology words and replace them with "multi-tasking" "upward mobility" "get ducks in a row" etc. Then let the money flow in.

 

[Zep]

Have you all met our new "best friend", Karen Boesen on the Business Astrology thread? She actually wants to get paid to do this sort of thing!

 

[Small Town Jesus]

Have you all met our new "best friend", Karen Boesen on the Business Astrology thread? She actually wants to get paid to do this sort of thing!

Depressingly, she probably does get paid for doing that sort of thing.

Wasn't Neil Spencer the editor of the NME back in the 80's? It would appear that he's found a lucrative new way of getting paid for writing nonsense.

STJ