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World Hot Dog Eating Championship FIXED???

shemp

a flimsy character...perfidious and despised
shemp
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I contend that there is something wrong with the hot dogs used in the World Hot Dog Eating Championship! I have good reason to believe that the hot dogs Joey Chestnut ate were "corked"! I don't use this term to mean that they actually put cork in the hot dogs, but that, similar to the corking of a baseball bat, the hot dogs were actually HOLLOW! Yes, it is my contention that Nathan's (a company with obvious ties to the New World Order and the International Zionist Conspiracy) scooped out some of the meat from the center of the hot dogs Chestnut ate, so that he would set a new record and that sales of Nathan's hot dogs in the U.S. would explode! And I have good reason to believe they used low-carb rolls too! There are reliable speculative rumors that Oliver Stone is analyzing video of yesterday's competition frame-by-frame for evidences, and that he will present his findings in his next film, "Eat the Dog". Also, you know that my allegations must be true, because I present them in one long paragraph and I use color!
 
shemp said:
I contend that there is something wrong with the hot dogs used in the World Hot Dog Eating Championship! I have good reason to believe that the hot dogs Joey Chestnut ate were "corked"! I don't use this term to mean that they actually put cork in the hot dogs, but that, similar to the corking of a baseball bat, the hot dogs were actually HOLLOW! Yes, it is my contention that Nathan's (a company with obvious ties to the New World Order and the International Zionist Conspiracy) scooped out some of the meat from the center of the hot dogs Chestnut ate, so that he would set a new record and that sales of Nathan's hot dogs in the U.S. would explode! And I have good reason to believe they used low-carb rolls too! There are reliable speculative rumors that Oliver Stone is analyzing video of yesterday's competition frame-by-frame for evidences, and that he will present his findings in his next film, "Eat the Dog". Also, you know that my allegations must be true, because I present them in one long paragraph and I use color!
Click to expand...


Say it ain't so, Moe!
 
The video proves the conspiracy!!!!

Oh, yeah watch this video at (can't post links yet)www-dot-youtube.com/watch?v=drZPCAsPWl4 and (same)www-dot-youtube.com/watch?v=r56uLxEllLM. Look at how Chestnut doesn't need to articulate his jaw as much as Kobayashi! I don't think he's got as much to chew!

And he deliberately obscures the hot dogs with his hands. What does he have to hide, huh??!!

Look at how much less Chestnut has to drink! He's got less to swallow!!!

Watch how his throat barely bobbles when he swallows! Nothing inside those weiners, huh?

Look how puffed out his cheeks are. It's smooth, like a balloon. That's air, not hot dogs!! Do you see any hot dog lumps??

Look how much compression Chestnut gets when he squishes his dogs in his hands. It's like they're collapsing to such a degree that they must be hollow!

And check out this comment by a Hot Dog contest researcher:

pissnvinegar31 (5 minutes ago)
I really have no idea how chestnut got an extra 3, when he and kobayashi were neck and neck the whole way.
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Rigged score!! Judges in on the conspiracy, everyone??!!

You know my allegations must be true, because I watched the video! And I use exclamation points!!!! Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!...
 
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Now, back to reality...

Okay, now that I got that out of my system... :) Pardon the unbroken english or the lack of any juvenile "lol pwnd yur azz, defeat my awesome (rule8)", but I just can no longer find it within me to abuse the english language to that degree.

Anyway... The hardest thing to do is watch the end of the second video - where Kobayashi upchucks that hot dog - while trying to eat my own lunch. I durn near upchucked myself.

And: Man!... 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes?? I don't eat 6 hot dogs in 12 months!! I feel nauseous just eating more than 1 or 2 in one sitting (unless they're proper whole beef franks, like kosher ones). But 66??... Eww!...
 
ElMondoHummus said:
Okay, now that I got that out of my system... :) Pardon the unbroken english or the lack of any juvenile "lol pwnd yur azz, defeat my awesome (rule8)", but I just can no longer find it within me to abuse the english language to that degree.
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I understand. I spent about 15 years making a living as a proofreader. I can't bring myself to misspell and mangle the language.
 
shemp said:
I understand. I spent about 15 years making a living as a proofreader. I can't bring myself to misspell and mangle the language.
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:curse And I, being of a certain age, cannot understand that crap. If I squint just right, and send the letter/number combinations through a blender, I can almost make out just what the devil they're trying to say. But I usually just skip over it, because if you can't take the time to communicate it, I can't take the time to read it.

Rant over. Carry on with normal programming.
 
I have now found that the conspiracy goes even DEEPER!!! Look at this!

The Ramones --> "Beat on the brat with a baseball bat" --> "Rockaway Beach"

The Ramones are from NY!!!

Rockaway beach is near Coney Island!!!

Baseball bats can be corked!!!

Brats are cousins to hot dogs!!!

I love exclamation marks!!!

This PROVES that the Hollow-Hot-Dog Conspiracy goes back 30 years or more, and is tied to the NWO's efforts to cover up the Hollow-Earth TRUTH!!! And you know it's true because I made everything BOLD!!!
 
I love watching that show every year.

This year I had my kids watch it with me (20,17,13,11) as it was a rainy day and we were going to play board games together since we couldn't do our usual picnic stuff.

Warning: Harry Potter spoiler below!!!

The funniest thing was when one of the contestants was walking up to the stage with a big sign. I don't remember what it said on the front but when he flipped it over, it read "Hermoine dies" and then he put his finger to his lips.


It took a second or two to register and then all 4 of my kids screamed "NOOOO!!!!" It was like someone telling you the ending to "The Sixth Sense" right before you watched the movie.

Hilarious.
 
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Nonsense, the hotdogs weren't hollow, in fact each of them had a concrete core, proving that the contestants must have used c4 coated rolls and thermate laced toothpaste, in order to "demolish" so many in one sitting.
 
Calcas said:
Warning: Harry Potter spoiler below!!!

...


The funniest thing was when one of the contestants was walking up to the stage with a big sign. I don't remember what it said on the front but when he flipped it over, it read "Hermoine dies" and then he put his finger to his lips.


It took a second or two to register and then all 4 of my kids screamed "NOOOO!!!!" It was like someone telling you the ending to "The Sixth Sense" right before you watched the movie.

Hilarious.
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Y'know, I've seen just about every character in that book mentioned on the net as being the one who dies in the end. I'm still not certain which if any of the rumors are true.

But yeah... what a great reaction. That's something that'd happen if my friends were watching, and we're all well out of college.
 
ElMondoHummus said:
Y'know, I've seen just about every character in that book mentioned on the net as being the one who dies in the end. I'm still not certain which if any of the rumors are true.

But yeah... what a great reaction. That's something that'd happen if my friends were watching, and we're all well out of college.
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Yeah, who knows if it's true but it sure was funny!

If I knew how to use the spoiler feature I would. Can someone walk me through it?
 
Calcas said:
If I knew how to use the spoiler feature I would. Can someone walk me through it?
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I found it in the forum Help -> How to... Guides. Basically, it's just like HTML "<>" and "</>" tags, except with square brackets "[" and "]" instead of the less than and greater than type brackets. Like this:

[ spoiler ] (text here) [ /spoiler ]

... but without the spaces within the square brackets. Because otherwise they'd kick in and spoilerize the (text here).
 
shemp said:
I have now found that the conspiracy goes even DEEPER!!! Look at this!

The Ramones --> "Beat on the brat with a baseball bat" --> "Rockaway Beach"

The Ramones are from NY!!!

Rockaway beach is near Coney Island!!!

Baseball bats can be corked!!!

Brats are cousins to hot dogs!!!

I love exclamation marks!!!

This PROVES that the Hollow-Hot-Dog Conspiracy goes back 30 years or more, and is tied to the NWO's efforts to cover up the Hollow-Earth TRUTH!!! And you know it's true because I made everything BOLD!!!
Click to expand...
You really need more words in ALL CAPS - but at least there are some - and it would help if you made some in different colors and fonts - that always helps to show you are RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :rolleyes:
 
ElMondoHummus said:
I found it in the forum Help -> How to... Guides. Basically, it's just like HTML "<>" and "</>" tags, except with square brackets "[" and "]" instead of the less than and greater than type brackets. Like this:

[ spoiler ] (text here) [ /spoiler ]

... but without the spaces within the square brackets. Because otherwise they'd kick in and spoilerize the (text here).
Click to expand...


Thanks! I fixed my OP...
 
Calcas said:
I love watching that show every year.

This year I had my kids watch it with me (20,17,13,11) as it was a rainy day and we were going to play board games together since we couldn't do our usual picnic stuff.

Warning: Harry Potter spoiler below!!!

The funniest thing was when one of the contestants was walking up to the stage with a big sign. I don't remember what it said on the front but when he flipped it over, it read "Hermoine dies" and then he put his finger to his lips.


It took a second or two to register and then all 4 of my kids screamed "NOOOO!!!!" It was like someone telling you the ending to "The Sixth Sense" right before you watched the movie.

Hilarious.
Click to expand...

LOL! My fiancee and her friend had the same reaction. There were already mad at me for hijacking the TV so I could watch it in the first place.
 
Chestnut ended with 66. Kobayashi ended with 63 because he had a reversal of fortune with 2 seconds left to go. It wasn't a total reversal, which is why he wasn't flat out DQd. But, there was a deduction.

Anyone who watched the contest and knows anything about IFOCE should know that.
 
Of course the contest was fixed and I know who fixed it.

Ahem.

(Sounds of throat clearing)

It was Da JOO--

THWACK!

Ouch! That hurt!

Anyway, dust samples retrieved from the floor were delivered to, well, let's say, a certain currently-unemployed physicist who has PROVED that the dogs were not, as the NWO would have us believe, Nathan's finest, but < HEBREW > NATIONALS!!
 
Obviously a conspiracy.

A hot dog eating competition is won by a guy from the country where people eat the most food?

Doesn't add up.
 
shemp said:
I have now found that the conspiracy goes even DEEPER!!! Look at this!

The Ramones --> "Beat on the brat with a baseball bat" --> "Rockaway Beach"

The Ramones are from NY!!!

Rockaway beach is near Coney Island!!!

Baseball bats can be corked!!!

Brats are cousins to hot dogs!!!

I love exclamation marks!!!

This PROVES that the Hollow-Hot-Dog Conspiracy goes back 30 years or more, and is tied to the NWO's efforts to cover up the Hollow-Earth TRUTH!!! And you know it's true because I made everything BOLD!!!
Click to expand...

And do you think it's just a COINCIDENCE that EXCLAMATION MARKS look just like BASEBALL BATS?
Putting COINCIDENCE in a large size font proves it's NOT!
 
I actually believe there is a conspiracy surrounding competitive eating: for whatever reason, the suits at ESPN have decided to ram "competitive eating" down the US Public's throats (pun intended). Through some malevolent back-room dealings, we have all been made to suffer awareness of, and occasional contact with, this disgusting spectacle.

A competition that's less enjoyable for the participants and spectators alike, I dare not imagine.
 
Schlock TV in Hong Kong re-ran an episode of the Guinness Records show (whatever it's called) last night. We were in a pub, but I'm sure the cable station promoted it as the "Hot Dog Eating Championship" and people tuned in to see the action from Coney Island.

Instead, it was a contrived item with two guys eating wienies (no buns and no water) out of what looked like a conveyor belt and trough combined. They must have had about 2000 dogs in the trough, and the ultimate winner at 41! Love that Guinness show! Worst TV known to mankind.

Oh, and shemp... it was fixed. I know it! They snuck in a stupid rule that when the final buzzer goes off, you can finish whatever's in your mouth, with no time limit.... so the guy who timed it to have his mouth empty with six seconds to go shoved about eight dogs in his mouth, and barely won by a single dog.

Guinness? Or Guinnesstein? Hmmm?
 
One particular contestant's hot dogs were required to be kosher.




I'm not making accusations; I'm just saying.
 
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