Schneibster
Unregistered
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2005
- Messages
- 3,966
Here's what I love.
During depositions, the plaintiff's lawyers ask the defendant, "Did you have sex with Monica Lewinski?" Being smart enough to pour sand out of a boot with instructions on the heel, the defendant says, "What do you mean by 'sex?'"
So the plaintiff's lawyers go off and they come up with this convoluted definition of "sex." Hey, there's ten-fifteen lawyer jokes right there, man. Then they run it by the judge, and she approves it. So right there, you've got the court telling the defendant a precise definition of what they are asking, no questions, no doubts, no horses&&t.
So the defendant takes this definition with rubber gloves, steel gauntlets, and a ten-foot pair of tongs, and drags it off to his lawyers, and says, "Hey, what do I say to this?" So they look it over, and go, "Well, what did you do?" So he tells them, and they go off and think about it, and there's another dozen lawyer jokes, and they come back and go, "Well, according to this definition, the correct answer is, 'no.'"
So he goes back and tells them, "No."
And gets accused of perjury.
Nice.
Nobody with even a nodding acquaintance with the truth and the basic intelligence of the average sessile underwater life form believes that crap, man. He was asked a question, he asked that the terms the question used be defined, they were, he evaluated his actions against those terms, and he answered truthfully.
Now, colloquially speaking, did he have sex with her? Of course he did. Does his wife think so? Bet your ass she does. Was it wrong? Hell yes, on several levels.
But that's not the question. The question is, did he answer the question he was asked, a question that has nothing to do with the colloquial definition of sex, because it was asked by lawyers (and there's several more lawyer jokes for the afficianados among us) in the setting of depositions for a lawsuit, truthfully?
That's the only objective evaluation you'll ever see of what happened to Bill Clinton, and it's all a matter of public record. Anything else relies either on confusion in the minds of people who after watching a hell of a lot of Perry Mason really oughta know better, or on partisan hatred. Hey, if I can compliment one of Bush's daughters on her good deeds, what's the matter with y'all?
During depositions, the plaintiff's lawyers ask the defendant, "Did you have sex with Monica Lewinski?" Being smart enough to pour sand out of a boot with instructions on the heel, the defendant says, "What do you mean by 'sex?'"
So the plaintiff's lawyers go off and they come up with this convoluted definition of "sex." Hey, there's ten-fifteen lawyer jokes right there, man. Then they run it by the judge, and she approves it. So right there, you've got the court telling the defendant a precise definition of what they are asking, no questions, no doubts, no horses&&t.
So the defendant takes this definition with rubber gloves, steel gauntlets, and a ten-foot pair of tongs, and drags it off to his lawyers, and says, "Hey, what do I say to this?" So they look it over, and go, "Well, what did you do?" So he tells them, and they go off and think about it, and there's another dozen lawyer jokes, and they come back and go, "Well, according to this definition, the correct answer is, 'no.'"
So he goes back and tells them, "No."
And gets accused of perjury.
Nice.
Nobody with even a nodding acquaintance with the truth and the basic intelligence of the average sessile underwater life form believes that crap, man. He was asked a question, he asked that the terms the question used be defined, they were, he evaluated his actions against those terms, and he answered truthfully.
Now, colloquially speaking, did he have sex with her? Of course he did. Does his wife think so? Bet your ass she does. Was it wrong? Hell yes, on several levels.
But that's not the question. The question is, did he answer the question he was asked, a question that has nothing to do with the colloquial definition of sex, because it was asked by lawyers (and there's several more lawyer jokes for the afficianados among us) in the setting of depositions for a lawsuit, truthfully?
That's the only objective evaluation you'll ever see of what happened to Bill Clinton, and it's all a matter of public record. Anything else relies either on confusion in the minds of people who after watching a hell of a lot of Perry Mason really oughta know better, or on partisan hatred. Hey, if I can compliment one of Bush's daughters on her good deeds, what's the matter with y'all?