The 2023 Predictions Thread

arthwollipot

Observer of Phenomena, Pronouns: he/him
arthwollipot
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
97,300
Location
Ngunnawal Country
This is where we try to beat the psychics at their own game. What do you think will happen in 2023?

(Note: this was an annual tradition a little while ago, but it has been allowed to lapse in the last few years. I am herewith taking up the mantle.)

Here are my predictions:

  • The war in Ukraine will end with Russian forces withdrawing. Russia will counterattack in January, but this will not be successful.
  • There will be a mass shooting in Canada in the first half of the year, possibly in or near Toronto.
  • There will be a scandal in the world of international cricket.
  • A volcanic eruption somewhere unexpected, possibly Samoa.
  • A new discovery will rock the world of vertebrate palaeontology and turn certain assumptions on their heads.

What do you think is going to happen? Break out your crystal balls and Tarot cards now.
 
-- One mass-shooting per day in the USA, with 3 or more people dead per incident, and more injured. At least one school massacre included. The shooters will all have legal weapons.

-- Donald Trump will not be the next Republican presidential nominee. However he will carry on blustering that he is while he circles the drain endlessly due to all his court cases.
 
arthwollipot said:
This is where we try to beat the psychics at their own game. What do you think will happen in 2023?

(Note: this was an annual tradition a little while ago, but it has been allowed to lapse in the last few years. I am herewith taking up the mantle.)

Here are my predictions:

  • The war in Ukraine will end with Russian forces withdrawing. Russia will counterattack in January, but this will not be successful.
  • There will be a mass shooting in Canada in the first half of the year, possibly in or near Toronto.
  • There will be a scandal in the world of international cricket.
  • A volcanic eruption somewhere unexpected, possibly Samoa.
  • A new discovery will rock the world of vertebrate palaeontology and turn certain assumptions on their heads.

What do you think is going to happen? Break out your crystal balls and Tarot cards now.
Click to expand...

Low hanging fruit Wolli. All are eminently feasible.

How about:

* "Sovereign citizen" wins court case. Taxation refunded to millions.
 
Last edited:
One or more shootings in Germany involving Reichsburger.

Oil and prices drop, electricity prices don't.
 
I polished my crystal ball and dealt the tarot cards.

China's economy will self-combust, sending the world into the worst recession since 1929.

The war in Ukraine will continue. Pakistan and Afghanistan will go to war.

Biden will die in office. Specifically, on the toilet in his office.

Late 2023 will usher in the strongest El Nino ever.

I'll try to add some good news tomorrow.

Oh, I have one - King Charles will croak and William becomes King Billy the somethingth.
 
I'll make a bet against the Biden prediction; not because I think it won't happen, but because you will never be able to prove that that's where it did happen.
 
1. 2023 new fashion trend: wearing desserts! Apple pies, layer cakes, brownies...all of these and more will be worn by luminous celebrities!

2. Elon Musk will announce he's seeking gender reassignment.

3. A new respiratory illness carried by walruses will emerge in humans.

4. J.K. Rowling will announce she's seeking gender reassignment.

5. Elon Musk will drop her $40,000 designer apple pie she's wearing as a hat when she is overcome by a walrus-virus coughing fit.
 
Norman Alexander said:
-- Donald Trump will not be the next Republican presidential nominee. However he will carry on blustering that he is while he circles the drain endlessly due to all his court cases.
Click to expand...
That's a no-brainer, because the nominee won't be selected until 2024.

The Atheist said:
.

Oh, I have one - King Charles will croak and William becomes King Billy the somethingth.
Click to expand...

William V, I think. IV was the second son of George III.

Meanwhile, I'll confine mine to the Republican US House of Representatives:
-- Many, many, MANY hours will be spent investigating Hunter Biden, to no result whatsoever.
-- EmptyG will get her committee assignments back, and act like a fool in the meetings.
-- A serious effort will be made to impeach Joe Biden, for fathering Hunter.
-- They'll shut down the government at least once.
 
I will make my predictions so specific that no one will doubt my prophetic powers!

- A magnitude 6.4 earthquake centered 23 miles east of St, Louis Missouri will not occur at 3:04 AM EDT on June 12, 2023.

- A banquet of endangered escargots served to the visiting Prime Minister of Singapore will not embroil Barbara Pompili, the French Minister of Ecological Transition, in controversy on June 12, 2023.

- Elon Musk and Tom Brady will not announce their engagement, following a year-long secret romance, at a fundraiser to benefit rare French snail species endangered by a Missouri earthquake, on June 12, 2023.

- "Brusky," as they will come to be known, will attempt to start a family using robo-womb technology under development by Musk start-up HuxleyBro, which will be funded by profits from the phenomenal success of SpaceX's Twitter Remover app.

- No one will remember or mention these predictions on June 12, 2023.
 
Easy one:

Donald Trump will issue a second set of NFT self deifications.
One image will feature Trump riding a velociraptor.
In another he'll be wearing mech-armor.
In yet another he'll be nailed on a cross as the sacrificial god for America's sins.

Thousands of MAGA chumps will buy this crap.
 
Myriad said:
I will make my predictions so specific that no one will doubt my prophetic powers!

- A magnitude 6.4 earthquake centered 23 miles east of St, Louis Missouri will not occur at 3:04 AM EDT on June 12, 2023.

- A banquet of endangered escargots served to the visiting Prime Minister of Singapore will not embroil Barbara Pompili, the French Minister of Ecological Transition, in controversy on June 12, 2023.

- Elon Musk and Tom Brady will not announce their engagement, following a year-long secret romance, at a fundraiser to benefit rare French snail species endangered by a Missouri earthquake, on June 12, 2023.

- "Brusky," as they will come to be known, will attempt to start a family using robo-womb technology under development by Musk start-up HuxleyBro, which will be funded by profits from the phenomenal success of SpaceX's Twitter Remover app.

- No one will remember or mention these predictions on June 12, 2023.
Click to expand...

I'd like to point out, 23 miles EAST of St. Louis is 23 miles into Illinois.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trump and family will voluntarily relocate to Saudi Arabia so he can concentrate on his new endeavor, staying out of the United States penal system.

Elon Musk will begin to display some unusual behavior.

A previously thought extinct species will be found alive, possibly living in a retirement community in Florida.
 
On April 30th of next year, their will be a sunrise and sunset at EVERY LOCATION IN THE WORLD (with a view of the horizon, of course - no, "but what if someone's in a cave", BS allowed).

The phenomenon of the Sun doing so, including traveling across the daytime sky will be dismissed by scientists as an illusion due to point of reference. Some people won't believe them.

On April 31st, none of that will happen.
 
Elon Musk will be ousted as CEO of Tesla.

The Ashes series will be tied meaning Australia will retain them

France will win the RWC

Twitter will go bankrupt

Tr*mp will not be indicted personally for any crimes

Putin will leave office, probably through an open window.

jeremyp will double his post count* post 500 times on IS.

* ****. I've got 2,141, I'm not going to double that in a year.
 
Last edited:
You're gonna take a walk in the rain
And you're gonna get wet
- Sparks

(Which has a crossover to the drag thread.)
 
rjh01 said:
This forum will continue to slowly die. It will have fewer active members and fewer posts. No major software upgrade.
Click to expand...
Indeed, truly a sad state of affairs in this modern world. (member 52 look it up)
Oh, and the republicans will welcome the bent cross as a new insign.
 
By November of 2023, over 60% of all commercials will be trailers for longer commercials that you can view by going to the advertiser's Web page.
 
Trebuchet said:
That's a no-brainer, because the nominee won't be selected until 2024.



William V, I think. IV was the second son of George III.
Meanwhile, I'll confine mine to the Republican US House of Representatives:
-- Many, many, MANY hours will be spent investigating Hunter Biden, to no result whatsoever.
-- EmptyG will get her committee assignments back, and act like a fool in the meetings.
-- A serious effort will be made to impeach Joe Biden, for fathering Hunter.
-- They'll shut down the government at least once.
Click to expand...
[Pedant mode]
William IV was actually George III's third son- the second son was named Frederick, the Duke of York, who died before his older brother (George IV), having left no legitimate issue, which made William next in line for the throne. William IV also died with no legitimate issue, leaving the throne to the issue of the next brother, Edward the Duke of Kent, who had also pre-deceased George IV. Edward's only legitimate issue was a daughter named Alexandrina Victoria, who discarded the "Alexandrina" to become Queen Victoria. And the rest, as they say, is her story.
[/Pedant mode]
 
There will be a major political crisis involving widespread violence or stochastic terrorism.

I'm buying more guns.
 
I predict Trump will be convicted on multiple charges. After multiple appeals claiming a biased jury he'll end up sentenced to home confinement with an ankle monitor because SS protection cannot be accommodated in a prison.

The trial in Georgia will be separate but I predict the same, guilty verdict, sentence concurrent with federal sentence.

He'll end up golfing and violating the terms of his sentence multiple times and the judicial branch will eventually, after much public pressure, find a federal prison that can accommodate him, SS agents and all.

I predict Trump's accomplices will all be found guilty and given jail time—no home confinement for them. Suckers!!!
 
arthwollipot said:
This is where we try to beat the psychics at their own game. What do you think will happen in 2023?

  • There will be a scandal in the world of international cricket.
Click to expand...

That is only a partial prediction. The complete prediction is, there will be a scandal in the world of international cricket, and no one will care.

*Sounds of crickets chirping*
 
TragicMonkey said:
1. 2023 new fashion trend: wearing desserts! Apple pies, layer cakes, brownies...all of these and more will be worn by luminous celebrities!

2. Elon Musk will announce he's seeking gender reassignment.

3. A new respiratory illness carried by walruses will emerge in humans.

4. J.K. Rowling will announce she's seeking gender reassignment.

5. Elon Musk will drop her $40,000 designer apple pie she's wearing as a hat when she is overcome by a walrus-virus coughing fit.
Click to expand...

Nicely done!
 
Apathia said:
Easy one:

Donald Trump will issue a second set of NFT self deifications defecations
One image will feature Trump riding a velociraptor.
In another he'll be wearing mech-armor.
In yet another he'll be nailed on a cross as the sacrificial god for America's sins.

Thousands of MAGA chumps will buy this crap.
Click to expand...

FTFY
 
Predictions:

The Moon will crash into the earth - no one will notice
A new sexual orientation will come into being it will be called goofyward
Smarkcooky will find himself unable to swim when New Zealand sinks - upwards
The IS board will become the newest fad and signing up but not posting the latest thing
They will find a way to send pudding by email and txt
China will simply close all its businesses and become a hermit kingdom
Russia will accidentally nuke itself - but miss
A new sect of Christianity, 'the wretched repugnants' will become popular in four counties in the deep south, their main tenet is to hold their breath until everyone gives them money
Archaeology & history it will be discovered that it is not 2023 AD but 513 AD a regrettable error with the calendar it would seem
Biden will be impeached for not locking Trump in an iron box and leaving him out in the sun for a few weeks
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom