Accusations of golddigging

Polaris said:
I don't think it's always a conscious thing, as blatant as "I'm going to marry a rich man or bust!" That's full-throttle gold-digging. I think it's more complicated.
Picture high end club with a doorman. The women are generally going there to dance, but the men are there for the women. The guy who has money has access to, say, the VIP lounge and can be showy enough to order a bottle of Grey Goose and have them leave it. If he invites a girl up and she accepts, it's most likely going to be because she's possibly never been in the VIP lounge and this is her chance, he's providing something exciting and new - she didn't go to him because he's got money exactly, she went to him because of the options his money bought, rather than a guy on the dance floor who had to sacrifice something else during the week to scrape the cover together.
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Probably correct.

The money doesn't hurt, but it's not the only factor.
 
What I find interesting is the job of being the wife of a famous, wealthy, and powerful person. There are a lot of things that are expected of the spouse such as proper appearance and manners, knowing how to circulate at a party and how to host one yourself, keeping track of all the social and media connections and keeping them under control. All of that on top of normal things like managing a household for a spouse who is often away for weeks or months at a time.

I wonder if some people marry in order to have a partner to take care of all those things?
 
I think that women are certainly more likely to fall for someone with money. This isn't really gold digging. Women are just attracted to success, ability to provide, ect.

Gold digging is when the women only cares about the money. In my experience, these women are easy to spot. I'll sleep with them if they are hot enough, but they are not getting a dime from me. After they realize that, they will move on.

Some of the smarter ones may be better at hiding that they are gold diggers than others. Maybe this applies to Matt Cain's wife, I dunno. But there is no reason to just assume this is the case.
 
From personal experience - I've been poor, rich and now poor again. My success with women has mirrored exactly my wealth status. No complaints as it surely is the natural order of things. It is neither a conscious effort, nor a surprise that woman are attracted by money/power/intelligence/looks.
 
People are often thoughtlessly cruel, and women tend to bear the brunt of much of it.

There are indeed women on the make, as well as males (think Mark Harris, last husband of Martha "Maggie" Raye) but defining a woman or a man as a "gold-digger" without first hand knowledge of the relationship or individuals involved is low class behavior.
 
Travis said:
Really? It couldn't be anything else?
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I'm sure she finds him attractive. After all, she is willing to sleep with him every night. I'm sure she looks foward to seeing her husband and telling him about her day, what the kid did, what the rest of her family is up to, her thoughts on the future. I'm sure she is very happy to have married a wealthy man but there's more to it than money.
 
Brainster said:
Okay, so obvious question: Did Cain marry his wife before he became rich and famous?
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Why does that matter?

The existence of some couples that may fit the description does not mean all men with wealth would want a braindead hottie and that the woman in their life only cares about his money.
 
Brainster said:
Okay, so obvious question: Did Cain marry his wife before he became rich and famous?
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Don't know what year they met, but they married in 2009, so a few years into his career, and likely he was getting a pretty decent pay packet at the time, but he didn't become the highest paid until this year.
 
I met one sports figure's ex wife, in her home, in a bikini. I swear she must have been dripping pheromones, from the effect she had on me. Not physical excitement, just huge distraction. I instantly became a believer in pheromones. She was hot, but not THAT hot, it must have been an odor, a demeanor?

I'm thinking that if some women have THAT, they learn young that they can have their pick.

But it wouldn't come over a tv broadcast. I'm thinking there are a lot of guys who are a bit too sensitive to THAT, or at least act as if they are?
 
From Wikipedia:

Cain met his wife Chelsea Williams during spring training while she was a student at Arizona State University, majoring in sociology. At the time Chelsea was waitressing at a local steakhouse. The two were married in fall 2009 and had their first child, daughter Hartley, in December 2010. The family has homes in Arizona and Tennessee, as well as a home in Noe Valley, making Cain one of only a few Giants players to own a home in San Francisco.
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Doesn't sound like a golddigger to me.
 
As others have noted, we can say wealth is an attraction trigger (in general), but it's difficult to say that, in this specific instance, Cain's wife married him mostly for money. As Shemp's post suggests, she coupled up with him before the big league contract.

There are many other attraction triggers: he's tall; in college he was probably a star athlete. You see the same thing with musicians: they dated hot women before striking it big. The problem with the term gold-digger is that we infer a conscious or cunning move at work. Ambition and success are like nice titties.

Would this guy pull the same kind of tail if he worked as an assistant manager at Lowes? Probably not. Would she have dated him in college if he was a champion D&D player? Probably not (because he doesn't get invited to the cool parties at ASU).

Wealth matters but there are 1) diminishing returns 2) Fame trumps wealth.
 
Peter Crouch is an English footballer who isn't conventionally handsome. He is married to lingerie model Abby Clancy. He is famous for the following exchange with a reporter

Reporter: What could you be if you weren't a Premiership footballer ?

Crouch: A virgin


Mrs Merton hit the nail on the head when interviewing "The Lovely" Debbie McGee

Mrs Merton said:
What first attracted you to millionaire entertainer Paul Daniels ?
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Travis said:
The existence of some couples that may fit the description does not mean all men with wealth would want a braindead hottie and that the woman in their life only cares about his money.
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Similarly, the existence of some couples who do not fit the trend does not mean that statistics do not exist. It's a very well established fact that money and power are a very large factor in getting a partner, for both men and women. For every ugly, poor person married to a rich supermodel, there are a hell of a lot more rich supermodels married to rich supermodels. It's not even just the extremes. There are studies showing that hot people tend to end up with hot people, ugly people tend to end up with ugly people, and people in the middle tend to end up with other people in the middle.

Sure, money, power and attractiveness aren't the only factors. Only a fool would claim they are given the ease of finding numerous examples to the contrary. But it would similarly take a fool to claim that they aren't often very important factors. It might be wrong to claim a statistical trend must prove true in all cases, but it's equally wrong to claim that the existence of counterexamples means the statistical trend doesn't exist at all.
 
I'm not sure what the OP is trying to say here. Sure we have no proof that she is a gold digger but are you saying they don't exist at all? Are you saying the topic should never be broached? I would personally advise anyone with serious net worth to get a prenup for example.

Bottom line, having money is a multiplier factor along with everything else (looks, fame etc).

Money also gives you the ability to do some serious wooing. e.g taking women to the best restaurants, first class trips to exotic locations etc. People are attracted to that kind of lifestyle. Hell I'm attracted to it which is why I work like a madman to make cashola.
 
Travis said:
Why does that matter?

The existence of some couples that may fit the description does not mean all men with wealth would want a braindead hottie and that the woman in their life only cares about his money.
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It matters because you brought it up yourself as a potential situation where the charge of being a golddigger would be incorrect:

I know I would be pretty pissed if I got rich and famous and then people accused my significant other of being a golddigger when I met her before any of that happened.
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And nobody's saying that Matt's wife only pretends to love him for his money, or that he only loves her for his looks. Those are strawmen.

But money and looks are factors that go into any equation. If a guy has money, a woman might put up with some things that she'd consider deal-killers otherwise. If a gal has looks, a guy might be willing to ignore her being less than a terrific conversationalist.

To a point. Let's face it, if Matt Cain's wife despised him except for the money, she'd probably have divorced him by now; she'd get half of his income for the last three years, which is a good enough nest egg to last her for the rest of her life.
 
TragicMonkey said:
And it goes triple for gay men if their significant other is younger and hotter. They never stop to think maybe he likes him not for his money, but because he's got mad sexual skills.
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But how would he find out about the mad sexual skills without some attraction in the first place, like having money?
 
MG1962 said:
Undoubtedly some women do marry purely for gold digging reasons.

However, remember 120 million dollars buys a lot of beauty products, treatment, exercise routines and clothes. It would be interesting to see how 'hot' some of these women look 10 minutes after they get out of bed in the morning
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.
"120 million dollars can't buy enough beauty products,..."
In my experience... :(
 
NewtonTrino said:
I'm not sure what the OP is trying to say here. Sure we have no proof that she is a gold digger but are you saying they don't exist at all? Are you saying the topic should never be broached? I would personally advise anyone with serious net worth to get a prenup for example.

Bottom line, having money is a multiplier factor along with everything else (looks, fame etc).

Money also gives you the ability to do some serious wooing. e.g taking women to the best restaurants, first class trips to exotic locations etc. People are attracted to that kind of lifestyle. Hell I'm attracted to it which is why I work like a madman to make cashola.
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It gets depressing after a while when the attractive young woman you are on a date with talks about all the incredible vacations she's been on to india, Fiji, Paris, Shanghai, Borneo, etc., and sometimes multiple times, when she makes less than you and you have to seriously cut corners to afford airfare anywhere outside your own continent.
 
I think it was awful how Anna Nicole-Smith was treated. Anyone could see that it was a marriage for life.
 
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