Seriously, what the hell are you talking about? I'm not kidding. I've NEVER seen that view represented anywhere in the mainstream gay rights community.
Seems like you're stuck on two things here: The first being an outdated picture of feminism. The second being a false dichotomy that people either support antiquated and sexist institutions of marriage, or they oppose marriage altogether.
Second-wave feminists from the 60s and 70s really did hammer on the idea that marriage is patriarchal, sexist, and enslaved women. Betty Friedan's "Feminine Mystique" comes to mind, it totally eviscerates the view that a woman's role is to be a mother and housewife, its a helluva read, and it was hugely influential, had a strong impact on the women's separatist movement.
Needless to say, that particular flavor of feminism is outdated. By the 80s, the women's rights movement successfully integrated women in the workplace, reduced feelings of "otherness" between men and women, established equality between the sexes as a default rather than compromise. Third-wave feminists developed as a reaction to the previous generation: they view sex, marriage, traditional femininity more positively.
Changing cultural attitudes fitted a third choice into the dichotomy above: a picture of marriage which regards partners as equals. Its a position which has all of the benefits of opposing sexism, and none of the drawbacks of opposing marriage entirely. Progressive conceptions of married are decidedly less macho and chauvinistic.
No wonder the people you criticize don't exist: almost all people who support marriage equality support gender equality, and support conceptions of marriage which treat partners as equals. Progressives do NOT view marriage as the same sexist institution it was 60 years ago.
"This type of gay marriage activist" is based on an antiquated characature of a stereotype of people who do not exist. A huge proportion of people who support gay marriage are, in fact, heterosexual and married.
There are a handful of people who believe that the government should get out of the marriage business entirely, but they are very quick to add that, while heterosexual couples have the right to marry, gay couples deserve equal rights.
No, the reality of fundamentalist Mormon is not "conveniently forgotten". Any thread on this forum, this one for example, nearly always draws attention to fundamentalist Mormon hellholes where 11-year-old girls are treated as sex slaves. Nobody wants that. If polygamists get their right to marry, it will NOT permit child sexual slavery.
The Brown family in Lehi Utah (from the TLC show "Sister Wives") is pretty much the model of polygamy that people support: consenting, rational adults who mutually support another. Its an interesting arrangement, Kody Brown is legally married to one woman, but has a religious commitment to three other women, all of them cohabitate in the same home.
At the moment, I don't believe there are many strong arguments against polyamorous relationships being legally recognized. Its an interesting discussion in its own right.
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