Sometime in the near future a GOP Presidential candidate is at the podium giving his acceptance speech for his party's nomination.
[applause dies down]
....yes.....yes...I will always be with you on that.
Now, folks. I want to get one of the main issues that I know you want me to fight when I obtain the Presidency: the liberal lie about Comet Mease-Arnold.
[a shower of boos]
Yes, I hear you. For too long liberals and their scientist allies have been trying to scare us with the prospect of this comet hitting our planet two years from now. Well we all know what this really is? A plot to destroy our economy in just the way they have always wanted to in their cold Communist sympathizing hearts.
[applause]
Just look at their "plan?" They want to establish three new agencies to deal with this. That's a lot of new union jobs coming straight from our taxes. And one of these new agencies is tasked with trying to reconfigure our existing manufacturing base to deal with this "crisis."
[boos]
MY FRIENDS THAT IS SOCIALISM!
[more boos]
Those Left Coast Liberal Elites want to destroy our economy and remake it into something new. Something they prefer. Something they can they use in their new secular culture run by Al Qaeda.
And look at the taxes to pay for this initiative!?! And do my eye's deceive me or are most of these taxes on the rich?
[BOO]
The job producers! The makers! The innovators! Right now in this economy?
[more boos]
And all this after those emails got hacked out of Pisa University! The emails that showed that, at that time, they didn't really know if it'd even hit Earth.
And that wasn't enough for the liberals to admit that this was just was a hoax. Just another in their long line of plans to reach the tendrils of their government interference into as many aspects of the free economy as they can with their porked up union jobs to follow. And if we don't stop them now we will wake up in a country that will look nothing like what we grew up in, it will operate in ways contrary to all logic, to all decency and with that our culture as we know it will be dead.
And that's why folks......with this nomination not only will I fight against the lie of the comet impact. I will stop all these new agencies. I will stop the construction of the CIT2 rocket interceptors. And I will do my best to defund all that malarkey pseudoscience that the liberal liars tried to use to suck us into their plan. I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THEM! YES I WILL! GOD BLESS YOU ALL. AND GOD BLESS AMERICA.
[THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE]