"given how little the skeptic guy bothered to check I have to wonder why he bothered turning up at all."
Assuming you're referring to one of the swedes who wrote the report, the answer is that he wasn't a skeptic - he's a physicist. And the difference is important.
He's also the chairman of the Swedish skeptics' society, so presumably some people consider him a skeptic.
Randi often mentioned that professional scientists are not very good at detecting fraud. The problem is that, since science is constantly building on the results of others, and the need for reproduceability makes fraud unprofitable in the long run, scientists are (in the short run) easily bamboozled. Their first instinct is to trust other researchers, and to try to explain data as it is presented to them. There have been any number of otherwise competent scientists who went public with support for paranormals of various sorts, and who regretted the experience.
Randi often says that, and I completely disagree with him. The problem is not that scientists aren't good at detecting fraud, it's that people tend to expect scientists to be good at every area of science. This case is actually a perfect example. Hanno Essen is a theoretical physicist. What they actually needed was a scientists with experience in calorimetry, or electrical engineering, or fluid flow, or something at least vaguely relevant to the actual experiment. There's nothing wrong with scientists, and I have quite a problem with Randi's constant dismissal of them, it's simply that the wrong kind of scientist is not necessarily better than no scientist at all.
The thing is, in this case it's not even a question of fraud. It doesn't matter
why you think there might be problems, there was no serious attempt to measure the most basic variables at all. Neither the water flow or heating were actually measured at all, let alone monitored during the experiment. That's not a problem with having scientists involved, it's a problem with the scientists apparently not knowing what they should be doing. Note that I'm not saying they're bad scientists in their fields, but they're clearly not the people who should be doing experimental calorimetry.
A cursory examination of the topic of cold fusion will inform you of the fact that it is impossible to patent cold fusion based devices. The patent office rejects them without examination (similar to perpetual motion machines).
Firstly, as already noted by others this claim is clearly wrong. Secondly, which patent office are you referring to, exactly? You do realise that each country has their own office, and the rules are not identical for all of them.
Any argument about patents is pointless.
Argument about patents is clearly not pointless because of one little detail - Rossi has applied for a patent. Even if everything you said about patents were correct, they're still relevant to the case at hand because they can tell us about Rossi's motivations etc., as well as giving actual technical information.
I think the rest of your post establishes that the reason the patent has been rejected
Perhaps I've missed something, but when did we learn his patent has been rejected? I haven't seen that mentioned anywhere, and a look at the link Horaitus gave doesn't seem to indicate that. Surely all your ranting about patents being meaningless here wasn't based on your assumption that it had been rejected? After all, that's basic information about the topic, and it took me less than 5 minutes to come up with it...