Obama frightens Chuck Norris

[MG1962]

I always knew Chuck Norris was a cowardly fool, but he's a bigger pussy than I thought. And this guy is hailed as some sort of example of a tough man, even spawning those "Chuck Norris facts" (that all worked so much better as "Jack Bauer facts" anyway)? Lawl.

I read an article about Chuck in some redneck magazine - American shooting and blow stuff up - or some such similar title.

Chuck seemed very impressed with himself that he has a sign at the front of his property "We Dont dial 911" refering to some cannon he has at home for anyone who wants to break into his house.

Seems that Chuck used to wander around the house in Hitler like rants about all that was wrong with the USA and his wife talked him into writing a book about it

 

[Regnad Kcin]

I say everybody start calling him "Charlie" and watch the fun begin!

 

[DavidJames]

Damn Hollywood liberals

 

[Just thinking]

Chuck seemed very impressed with himself that he has a sign at the front of his property "We Dont dial 911" ...

Where can I get one? (with an appropriate apostrophe)

 

[Eddie Dane]

Where can I get one? (with an appropriate apostrophe)

I prefer:

Tresspassers will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.

Right wing nuttery goes down better with a bit of wit.
BTW isn't that an Oscar Wilde quote? No?

 

[leftysergeant]

Norris' piece certainly achieved a much higher level of truth and intelligence than these rebuttals.

Nah. The brain-scrambled twit blew it when he started posting crap about our "Christian heritage" being trashed. Apparently, old touf-for-brains thinks this is a Christian country.

 

[Just thinking]

I prefer:

Tresspassers will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.

That's a good one, too ... but I've seen it a bit too often.

 

[Alferd_Packer]

I say everybody start calling him "Charlie" and watch the fun begin!

His real name is Carlos Ray Norris.

 

[Upchurch]

His real name is Carlos Ray Norris.

All the better.

 

[hgc]

"...during an age in which religious revisionism is already on the rise. "

What does that even mean?

With any luck, it means revised out of existence, and that Norris is correct in his fears. But, alas, religiosity isn't going anywhere.

 

[Flo]

I prefer:

Tresspassers will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.

Or:

Shoplifters will be beaten, stabbed and stomped.
Survivors will be prosecuted.

 

[Cleon]

His real name is Carlos Ray Norris.

Oh Great Humoron, Mighty God of Irony and all that is Funny, I give thanks to thee for the funny to be found in the above fact. Amen.



(To the Pantheon Prayer Line operator: Please direct the above prayer to the correct deity this time. Last time you sent it to Humeron, and I had a heluva time explaining why I interrupted the God of Upper Limbs when he was having some "very private time" with Scapulus.)

 

[daredelvis]

That's a good one, too ... but I've seen it a bit too often.

I know one family that has seen it at least once too often.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/6424953.html

Daredelvis

 

[Monketi Ghost]

Rebuttals? Rebuttals to what? The poor little guy is scared of his president because he disagrees with his political views.

Should we shed a tear? He's a grown man for crying out loud.

ETA: Sometimes we don't get the head of state we wanted. It's called democracy. Suck it up, Chuck.

THIS. Plus, he's the living "legend", Chuck Norris. I think he actually believes all the internet Chuck Norris jokes.

 

[Just thinking]

I know one family that has seen it at least once too often.

Something seems amiss in the telling of what happened ... not much detail.

Anyway, my version of trespassing is more to the order of breaking and entering types.

 

[Ducky]

THIS. Plus, he's the living "legend", Chuck Norris. I think he actually believes all the internet Chuck Norris jokes.

What odds do you give me against Chuck in a fistfight?


While we're on a Chuck Norris topic:

Chuck Norris Fact:

- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

 

[Brainster]

I keep checking back on this thread to see if anybody's going to correct the impression spread throughout that these are somehow the words of Chuck Norris. In fact, they are not; they are the words of Lew Pritchett, former chairman of Proctor and Gamble, which means that he was (at one point in his life) far more important than Chuck Norris.

He may be a senile, drooling old man for all I know (that he retired in 1989 indicates he's at least advanced in his years), but what Chuck did here was to reprint verbatim except for the introduction the guy's letter to the editor of the NY Times.

So why is it that 35 replies later nobody's mentioned this? Yes, I understand that because Chuck's name's on the column he obviously endorses the sentiments. But nobody thought to mention that he wasn't actually the one who's "scared"?

BTW, to those of you who reply that you saw it it was a World Net Daily link, you are completely forgiven for not actually reading the article.

 

[Tsukasa Buddha]

I keep checking back on this thread to see if anybody's going to correct the impression spread throughout that these are somehow the words of Chuck Norris. In fact, they are not; they are the words of Lew Pritchett, former chairman of Proctor and Gamble, which means that he was (at one point in his life) far more important than Chuck Norris.

He may be a senile, drooling old man for all I know (that he retired in 1989 indicates he's at least advanced in his years), but what Chuck did here was to reprint verbatim except for the introduction the guy's letter to the editor of the NY Times.

So why is it that 35 replies later nobody's mentioned this? Yes, I understand that because Chuck's name's on the column he obviously endorses the sentiments. But nobody thought to mention that he wasn't actually the one who's "scared"?

BTW, to those of you who reply that you saw it it was a World Net Daily link, you are completely forgiven for not actually reading the article.

Because after his list Chuck adds:

Now let me add a few of my own fears to yours.

President Obama:

You scare me because so many amazing corporate and American leaders like Lou Pritchett say things about you like: 'You scare me.'"

You scare me because, after you initiate more government borrowing and bailouts than all presidents combined, you require Congress to follow a system that is "pay-as-you-go."

You scare me because you really do believe that going into massive amounts of debt can remedy our economy in the long run...

 

[Fordama]

Her's a little gem from Chuck:

You promise to defend the U.S. against all potential enemies, yet you pacify those who harbor terrorists, fight for the rights of combative detainees, and enable the enemies of Israel.

Don't we want those enemies to be pacified?

Fordama

 

[thaiboxerken]

I'm not surprised, since Chuck is a moron neo-con, YEC and evangelical xtian. Chuck's greatest achievement was getting kicked in the mouth by a Chinese-American.