Dann, I'll start by explaining that I can see both sides of the coin. I can understand what guys like Mark are saying when they tell me they have no luck with women, because that's my reality too. Apparently, there are more than a few men like us out there, who, if we want sex, we have to pay for it. Up front, in cash. You called this the john's point of view, and that's fair enough. There are other reasons people hire prostitutes, but this is the reason that's closest to my experience.
Fair enough, you are upfront and honest here too!
I have a hard time believing that you would not be able to find somebody willing to have sex with you for free (= because she would enjoy having it), but it is not a question that I have any way of judging. I'm sure that you think that's the way it is.
From the very beginning my purpose was not to condemn the men who visit prostitutes. What I condemn is poverty, the condition that forces this line of work on some people.
I can see how the people who work in the illegal sex trade probably don't have good circumstances in their lives. Many illegal sex workers probably are in it because of a choice between having nothing and having the basics of life. Yes, I agree that many of them have substance abuse problems (though I'm not sure which came first for the majority, drug use or prostitution, though I suspect the former), and a good number probably suffer from some form of mental or emotional illness. They face daily threats of violence, both from those who "employ" them and from predatory johns. There is a large risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases and, for female sex trade workers, the looming threat of an unwanted pregnancy. There is the constant risk of arrest, and most illegal prostitutes probably do not prosper financially from their work. In short, I doubt that most who work in the illegal sex trade are happy with their lives.
I think that we agree on this point.
However, as many here have already said, this is largely the result of the unregulated state of the sex trade. Of course, legalisation and regulation will not be a cure-all for all the things that plague sex trade workers, but it would remove many of the risks that make it so dangerous. Prohibition does nothing to address these issues, it merely drives the industry underground and makes for a very lucrative business opportunity for criminal organisations.
Legalization of prostitution does nothing to secure the ’working conditions’ of prostitutes. It may be a profitable line of business for legalized pimps, but the prostitutes who cannot live up to the requirements of their new employers and the demands from the governmental regulators will continue to work as usual: illegitimately. (And if you have ever seen the reality shows from the Nevada brothels, you already know that the women there may fare better than streetwalkers, but very few (but probably enough!) women with other alternatives will feel tempted by this kind of ‘entrepreneurship’.)
A German example concerning health insurance:
„Grundsätzlich könnten sich Prostituierte auch privat krankenversichern; allerdings werden sie von privaten Krankenversicherungen in der Regel wegen zu hoher Risiken abgelehnt.“
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution#Deutschland
My translation:
”In principle prostitutes may take out policies of health insurance; however, they are usually turned down by the private health insurance companies because of the increased risk.”
Prostitution simply is not a job like all others, even if a few manage to earn a lot of money, get out in time and live happily ever after.
As to your question about those who wish to visit a bawdy house but cannot afford to financially, all I can say is that they will either have to save their money and make it their once a year holiday, or do without. I would like to have a Corvette. They cost one hundred thousand dollars. I will do without.
Like they sing in the Danish nursery rhyme
Der bor en bager i Nørregade: “If you’ve got money, you can get what you want, but if you haven’t got any, you’ll just have to leave.”
That sex is available for money is no guarantee that you’ll get laid. If you are poor, the price tag is what prevents you from getting any.
And another thing concerning sex and free enterprise:
Some of you have mentioned the debilitating effect it may have on the self-confidence of a man to be turned down by women. I think that it goes both ways, and stupid jerks of both sexes seem to find it a depreciation of their market value if somebody they consider inferior makes a pass at them, so they do not reciprocate simply by declining a declaration of love/desire/interest whatever. They have to be condescending, arrogant and cruel.
I don’t know if you are able to appreciate the irony when persistent fans of market economy and libertarianism become the victims of the social psychology that the societies of the market economies seem to foster. I can recommend
this book about bourgeois psychology, but unfortunately chapter 8 hasn’t been translated yet:
Chapter 8: Private life; or, the rise and fall of happiness in pleasure and love
1. The ideal of compensation, and longing for happiness
2. Consumption and leisure time: The right to pleasure put to practice
3. The big compensation: Love as the right to be unconditionally understood
4. Lover's grief and Crime III: out of passion
5. Modern ways to prove true love
6. Competition in love
If Mark had been living somewhere else, say in Cuba, he might have been relatively poor, but I cannot imagine that he would have been an involuntary virgin.
Finally, in re-reading my initial response to you, I realise that I was somewhat curt. I made some uncalled for assumptions about your background and character, and this was inappropriate. I apologise.
Well, I’m not very sensitive. And the moderators seem to think that I ought to moderate my language, so I’m probably the one who owes you an apology.
