In light of your recent admissions, I apologize for any fun I may have had at your expense.
I understand that it is difficult to verify a person's sincerity over the Internet, but please believe that we are not your enemies.
I have some advice for you. Since you may distrust anything I write, and I understand this, I invite you to find someone you do trust in real life -- anyone, a family member, a friend, a co-worker, doesn't matter -- and ask them if they think this is a good idea. Let them judge. You don't need to take me at my word.
I would ask you to summarize, briefly, some of the things you've told us, about the Government, your experiences with public education, and the nature of political power. Then ask your trusted ally what she thinks. Ask her whether, perhaps, you should seek additional help. If the answer is yes, ask how she suggests you get help. Ask her to follow through and be there with you to make sure it's really the best thing for you, and not a trick.
You should have someone in your circle that you can trust. I would do this for my friends. I have done this for my friends.
Again, I understand if you don't trust me. It doesn't matter. You should run this idea by someone that you can count on. The whole process is in your full control.
Best of luck to you.
Chris read what Mackey said and please for your own sake follow his wise advice.