P.J. Denyer
Penultimate Amazing
I would put my money on "home-schooled by a pigeon.
Really, Rusty, this thread is full of information that is new to you, even though the letters used to write that new information are not.
(Besides, 26 letters? A little too parsimonious, don't you think? Add another three, å, ä, and ö, and you will get wondrous new words with your wondrous new letters! Or why not go completely crazy, and try out a logographic alphabet? Or use phonetics!)
It was clearly a particularly dull pigeon.