Does 'rape culture' accurately describe (many) societies?

[acbytesla]

My question though is this. So what? My father was a single parent.

 

[arthwollipot]

I don't understand your question. Are you asking it one parent of each sex should be the model? Then yes. Evidence indicates that this works best. I am NOT saying that no one should ever be permitted to behave differently, or that anyone should be forced into such an arrangement.

Actually, some studies have shown that children of gay or lesbian couples have, if anything, slightly better outcomes than children of heterosexual couples. A growing body of evidence suggests that a strong family bond is more tightly linked to good outcomes for children than the sexes of their parents.

All the problems you talk about are easier, not harder, to deal with when two parents living together work together on those problems.

Or more.

That might happen sometimes. But when a woman has five kids with three different baby daddies, none of whom have ever lived with her, that's not an accident. That's not an abusive partner. That's not someone pushed into a situation by financial necessity. That's a choice.

Do you know someone who made that choice?

In the context of having and raising kids? Absolutely.

Polyamory is not for everybody, but when it works, it works very well, thank you very much.

A lot of them come from fatherless homes. Because fathers teach impulse control.

1. Anyone can teach impulse control. It's not an exclusively male purview. To suggest otherwise is sexism.
2. Given the statistical likelihood of domestic violence being perpetrated by the male partner, impulse control is often something that fathers don't practice, let alone teach.

We're not talking about unwanted pregnancies. We're talking about absentee fathers. That's not a sex-education problem, that's a responsibility-and-respect-education problem.

They're the same thing. You can't teach about sex without also teaching about responsibility and respect.

Also correlates closely to the least religious cities in the US.

How odd it is that all of these issues - absentee fathers, domestic violence, poverty, lack of education - are so closely correlated with the religiosity of the states. I wonder why that is.

 

[acbytesla]

1. Anyone can teach impulse control. It's not an exclusively male purview. To suggest otherwise is sexism.
2. Given the statistical likelihood of domestic violence being perpetrated by the male partner, impulse control is often something that fathers don't practice, let alone teach.

I learned impulse control from my father. I learned the impulse of moving when he was swinging. He was a very typical father in the 1950s and 60s. Spare the rod, hit the child.

 

[Helen]

Indeed, lots of them bring in boyfriends. Who also abuse kids at a higher rate.

Absolutely. But the rates are a lot higher.

A misunderstanding, I think; I don't differentiate between husbands and boyfriends, it's not relevant where I am.

When you say "higher rate" i would be interested in knowing what the base rate is, and how much higher that higher rate is - without those numbers it's not a very meaningful discussion, at least not for me.

 

[Trausti]

A misunderstanding, I think; I don't differentiate between husbands and boyfriends, it's not relevant where I am.

When you say "higher rate" i would be interested in knowing what the base rate is, and how much higher that higher rate is - without those numbers it's not a very meaningful discussion, at least not for me.

The boyfriend who moves into the home of a single mother with young children is just red flags all over.

Are Father Surrogates a Risk Factor for Child Maltreatment?

Children who had a father surrogate living in the home were twice as likely to be reported for maltreatment after his entry into the home than those with either a biological father (odds ratio = 2.6, 95% confidence interval = 1.4-4.7) or no father figure in the home (odds ratio = 2.0, 95% confidence interval = 1.1-3.5).

Unrelated adults in the home associated with child-abuse deaths

Young children who live in households with one or more unrelated adults are nearly 50 times as likely to die from an inflicted injury, usually being shaken or struck, as children living with two biologic parents, report researchers from the University of Missouri-Columbia and the University of Chicago in the November 2005 issue of the journal Pediatrics.

 

[Helen]

Meaningless numbers, if you don't know what the risks are for children living with both biological parents.

It's like saying that some drug increases your risk of some debilitating disease by 75% - it scares people silly, but if you know that the risk of getting that disease was 1% without the drug, that's not as scary, is it?

 

[Helen]

Yes, some women do. But again, you're making excuses. Mental health problems isn't the reason for the soaring rates of fatherlessness either.

Argument from incredulity is a fallacy.

So's a "trust me, bro" argument; do you have any actual evidence that women knowingly have children with men they know will leave them? And how many are there?

Women who have several children with different men aren't very common here, even though the benefits for parents are far more generous than in the US.

 

[Darat]

Pray tell.

Surprised it hasn't occurred to you especially in how you regard us all as being complicit in children being exposed to porn - you give money to those in poverty, that way they are no longer in poverty. (Note I use the word poverty not poor.)

 

[Darat]

...snip...

Women who have several children with different men aren't very common here, even though the benefits for parents are far more generous than in the US.

Strange that your social security net seems to keep people out of poverty. Why have you adopted such a silly idea? As we are often told that means no one will ever work so you must all be unemployed and living off your free money from the state.

 

[Poem]

Surprised it hasn't occurred to you especially in how you regard us all as being complicit in children being exposed to porn - you give money to those in poverty, that way they are no longer in poverty. (Note I use the word poverty not poor.)

I actually included myself in that complicity. And, yes, I do think we absolutely are complicit.

We do not give enough because we are selfish - which, as with the porn issue, is exactly in line with the evolutionary view of biology.

 

[Poem]

Strange that your social security net seems to keep people out of poverty. Why have you adopted such a silly idea? As we are often told that means no one will ever work so you must all be unemployed and living off your free money from the state.

#3.502

Why is the UK's pornography taskforce proposing to ban barely legal porn that is illegal on DVD etc but is available on the net? Is it because legislation already adequate covers it?

 

[Darat]

#3.502

Why is the UK's pornography taskforce proposing to ban barely legal porn that is illegal on DVD etc but is available on the net? Is it because legislation already adequate covers it?

Answered already with the cites to the legislation, it is not my fault if people don't know what the legislation already covers.

 

[Darat]

Are you saying we do not need any new legislation to deal with this content? If so, should the Pornography task force be told they are wasting their time?

Legislation is never going to be perfect, it may be that bringing the relevant parts of the various bills into one piece of legislation would provide some benefit. However, regarding making porn that is produced to give the appearance that the performers are under 18 that is already illegal in the UK regardless of the media, platform or method of distribution.

 

[dirtywick]

yes, i think they pornography task force should be told they're wasting their time

 

[Poem]

Answered already with the cites to the legislation, it is not my fault if people don't know what the legislation already covers.

They don't know? Perhaps you should email them and disabuse them of the need for the following -

Crime and Policing Bill (April 2025):
This amendment, tabled by Jess Asato MP, would extend content regulations that already exist for pornography distributed offline to pornography distributed online. This amendment is necessary to ensure what is illegal offline is illegal online and thereby combat the proliferation of violence against women in online pornography.

The sexualisation of children
3. The current laws regulating pornographic content do not go far enough to protect adults and children from the harms of pornography.

4. Since 1984, legislation has existed to specifically prohibit offline content that the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) would find unsuitable for classification, including in the R18 category, on videos, DVDs and Blu-Ray. This includes pornographic content which depicts illegal activity such as rape or incest, and any material that is potentially harmful, for example because it depicts and/or promotes child sexual abuse, trafficking, or violent sexual acts.

5. There is no equivalent standard to the BBFC’s regulation for online pornographic content as the internet has evolved largely without regulatory oversight.
(My emphasis)

 

[Poem]

yes, i think they pornography task force should be told they're wasting their time

This is just silly dw.

 

[Poem]

Legislation is never going to be perfect, it may be that bringing the relevant parts of the various bills into one piece of legislation would provide some benefit. However, regarding making porn that is produced to give the appearance that the performers are under 18 that is already illegal in the UK regardless of the media, platform or method of distribution.

Not true for content on the net.

 

[Helen]

Strange that your social security net seems to keep people out of poverty. Why have you adopted such a silly idea? As we are often told that means no one will ever work so you must all be unemployed and living off your free money from the state.

"Work"? What is this "work" of which you speak? Never heard of it.

 

[dirtywick]

This is just silly dw.

why? i don't think they'll come up with a very good solution to a minor problem that's being overblown. i've read most of this thread as it's gone on and haven't seen much besides a few scary quotes that are concerning and a complete lack of willingness to entertain realistic and pragmatic solutions to the problem presented. and i've been on porn sites and think the way they're being represented by these groups advocating against them is dishonest.

so yeah they should stop and reevaluate because they're wasting their time. call it silly if you want

 

[Poem]

why? i don't think they'll come up with a very good solution to a minor problem that's being overblown. i've read most of this thread as it's gone on and haven't seen much besides a few scary quotes that are concerning and a complete lack of willingness to entertain realistic and pragmatic solutions to the problem presented. and i've been on porn sites and think the way they're being represented by these groups advocating against them is dishonest.

so yeah they should stop and reevaluate because they're wasting their time. call it silly if you want

In the same way you think the naysayers are exaggerating - pro-porn consumers will be trivialising it. Desensitisation is a real phenomena. It happens with porn consumption. Everyone is biased to some degree.

Either way, content that actively attempts to present adults as if they are children should not be viewable on the net in the UK given that it is banned offline.