It's the same here, trans-activists talk about gender as socially defined norms as if a society without socially defined norms was possible or desirable. When people argue, like I think p0lka was doing, that society is somehow imposing on the freedom of the individual by having gender norms... p0lka is walking in the footsteps of Rousseau.
I suspect this is where some of the confusion comes in. Mostly because many of us have already caught on to the fact that what trans-activists *say* they want, and what their policies and arguments actually *accomplish* are diametrically opposed.
So, yeah, sure a lot of trans activists talk about gender ideology as a way to "overcome" societal norms around sex-based roles... but a whole lot of females and feminists observe that their approach is highly regressive and actually entrenches those norms even more strongly.
I can't find the original, so I'm going to paraphrase here...
Traditionalists: The woman does the dishes
Feminists: Men and women can both do the dishes
Trans Activists: Whoever does the dishes is a woman
So where traditionalists assume that the sex-based social roles are a direct result of sex, and are the "natural order" of things, Trans Activists go one step further, and assume that whoever performs those roles becomes that "gender". Feminists generally think that the whole thing is bollocks. Aside from some innate behavioral tendencies, there really aren't many social roles that are exclusive to one sex or the other on the basis of nature.
So yeah...
Traditionalists say that girls should like pink and boys should like blue. Feminists say that's dumb, girls should be allowed to like pink or blue or yellow, and boys should as well. Trans activists say that if a child likes pink, then that child must be a girl regardless of whether they've got a twig and giggle berries.