Link.Boston set off a furor this week when it officially renamed a giant tree erected in a city park a "holiday tree" instead of a "Christmas tree." The move drew an angry response from Christian conservatives, including evangelist Jerry Falwell who heckled Boston officials and pressed the city to change the name back.
"There's been a concerted effort to steal Christmas," Falwell told Fox Television.
The Nova Scotia logger who cut down the 48-foot (14-meter) tree was indignant and said he would not have donated the tree if he had known of the name change.
"I'd have cut it down and put it through the chipper," Donnie Hatt told a Canadian newspaper. "If they decide it should be a holiday tree, I'll tell them to send it back. If it was a holiday tree, you might as well put it up at Easter."
Well, we need to be sensitive, after all. After all, Jews decorate trees for Hanukah, don't they? Everyone's heard of the great Hanukah tree.
Oh, they don't?
Okay, but Muslims decorate trees for... well, what holiday are they celebrating these days?
Okay, what about Kwaanza?
What, no tree there, either?
Well, us atheists decorate trees at the winter solstice, don't we?
No?
Look, people, it's a goddam Christmas tree. And nobody's going to keel over and die if you call it that.
Okay, if they do keel over and die, they were probably on their way out anyway, and if the shock of hearing it called a Christmas tree didn't do it, then the next revolting Hollywood story probably would have.
Yeesh.
OBTW, Merry goddam Christmas, y'all (it's not illegal to say it yet, right?).
