Continued: (Ed) Atheism Plus/Free Thought Blogs (FTB)

[zooterkin]

Do they enjoy being cornered by strangers and asked for sex without any prior emotional connection?

Which, of course, is not what happened. Yes, you can corner someone in a lift, but being in the same lift as someone is not necessarily cornering them. Nor is asking someone if they'd like to come to your room for coffee the same as asking them for sex, even if sometimes the implication is there that the coffee might lead to more.

And, as has been repeated above, it wasn't the initial statement that was the cause of the controversy, but the way Watson abused her position as a speaker to put down someone who had made a perfectly reasonable response to her "Guys, don't do that" comment.

 

[The Central Scrutinizer]

It is reasonable and acceptable to avoid making people feel strongly uncomfortable, unless there is some compelling reason to do so.

Because it is foreseeable that it would make someone uncomfortable.

Anything you say will make someone, somewhere, uncomfortable.

Do they enjoy being cornered by strangers and asked for coffee sex without having any prior emotional connection?

Maybe. Hard to say what people like or don't like. Best not to stereotype them.

 

[d4m10n]

Of course she doesn't claim that this was. She admits they might have been hanging out at a bar for quite a while before that.

Not talking to each other, according to Rebecca.

 

[d4m10n]

Which, of course, is not what happened. Yes, you can corner someone in a lift, but being in the same lift as someone is not necessarily cornering them.

What a happy coincidence for ElevatorGuy to just happen to be in the same lift as the woman he failed to chat up at the bar.

 

[ponderingturtle]

It is reasonable and acceptable to avoid making people feel strongly uncomfortable, unless there is some compelling reason to do so.

That requires either a standard of a reasonable person or established social convention to be based on. Otherwise you need an unreasonable degree of insite into the persons reactions before you get to know them.

Because it is foreseeable that it would make someone uncomfortable.

All unwanted advances make everyone uncomfortable. The problem is that doesn't mean all advances are unwarranted. Clearly you would never suggest after a night drinking with someone at a bar that you might hook up. Clearly that is the kind of thing you consider totally unacceptable. How do you start dating?

Do they enjoy being cornered by strangers and asked for coffee sex without having any prior emotional connection?

Clearly as the number of people who have one night stands indicate it is not totally unreasonable. I know they must all be horrible people, but it does indicate a certain acceptance in society.

 

[ponderingturtle]

Not talking to each other, according to Rebecca.

So now she is dropping her claims of face blindness?

 

[d4m10n]

All unwanted advances make everyone uncomfortable.

I've been the recipient of at least few unwanted advances back in my day. Far more flattering than discomfiting, IIRC. Then again, I wasn't at all worried about what might happen if I declined. Even at gay bars, I felt perfectly safe saying no thanks. Then again, I was not cornered in a metal box at the time.

The problem is that doesn't mean all advances are unwarranted.

Here are some of the things which might make an advance warranted:

- Talking long enough to establish rapport

- Flirting behaviour showing interest

- Body language showing interest

Do you believe any of these things took place, that fateful night, between EG and RW?

Clearly you would never suggest after a night drinking with someone at a bar that you might hook up.

I never have, but my crushingly monogamous biography is not particularly relevant here.

Clearly that is the kind of thing you consider totally unacceptable.

That is not remotely clear.

How do you start dating?

Flirting is easy, I'm told.

Do you have reason to believe that RW was flirting with EG, leading him to believe that it was a good time to ask her back to his room?

 

[wareyin]

I never have, but my crushingly monogamous biography is not particularly relevant here.

I always find it interesting when people with admittedly little to zero experience with things try to lecture more experienced people on what to do.

You keep making claims such as:

I've been to more than a few hotels in my day. Coffee makers are usually a rudimentary one cup affair. Beds are generally the main event.

Which are demonstrably the result of a lack of experience with the subject matter. Skeptic Ginger gave you pictures of the rooms in question, which show a french press coffee maker with 2 nice china cups and a nice sitting area, for instance. This still results in not a peep about how little you know about the subject you are presuming to tell others about, followed by more instructions from one ignorant of the subject.

 

[devnull]

It is reasonable and acceptable to avoid making people feel strongly uncomfortable, unless there is some compelling reason to do so.

Lots of people feel uncomfortable about a wide range of things.

So what?

 

[wareyin]

Lots of people feel uncomfortable about a wide range of things.

So what?

Strongly uncomfortable. It's like strenuously object:

 

[Belz...]

It is reasonable and acceptable to avoid making people feel strongly uncomfortable, unless there is some compelling reason to do so.

To a degree, but unfortunately that would make us all very unwilling to engage each other in any sort of interaction, just in case whatever we have in mind will be offensive. That's why I favour a more "grow a thicker skin" kind of reaction to incidents such as that one.

Hell, tons of things make me uncomfortable all the time. I don't ask people to cater to my fragile (and fickle) feelings.

 

[Belz...]

What a happy coincidence for ElevatorGuy to just happen to be in the same lift as the woman he failed to chat up at the bar.

Well, in order to address someone vocally you kind of have to be near them. I fail to see how approaching someone constitutes "cornering". Add to that the fact that she told him no and he went away, and I really fail to see the problem, aside from being awkward.

 

[d4m10n]

I fail to see how approaching someone constitutes "cornering".

It doesn't, usually. Most approaches are made in public spaces with plenty of room to walk away.

 

[d4m10n]

I always find it interesting when people with admittedly little to zero experience with things try to lecture more experienced people on what to do.

I have loads of experience drinking coffee with friends. That's all that was going on, right?

...a french press coffee maker with 2 nice china cups and a nice sitting area...

See, now that tips the scales right there. We may safely assume it wasn't a veiled sexual invitation, because the hotel probably had fancy french presses back in 2011.

My apologies to everyone for assuming this was ever about sex.

 

[The Central Scrutinizer]

What a happy coincidence for ElevatorGuy to just happen to be in the same lift as the woman he failed to chat up at the bar.

I've quite often been in elevators with people I've never met.

 

[Belz...]

It doesn't, usually. Most approaches are made in public spaces with plenty of room to walk away.

That doesn't answer my point, unless you think that speaking to someone in an elevator constitutes, in and of itself, cornering that person.

 

[Belz...]

I've quite often been in elevators with people I've never met.

Do they ever corner talk to you? Does that make you strongly uncomfortable?

Guys, don't do that.

 

[wareyin]

I have loads of experience drinking coffee with friends. That's all that was going on, right?
See, now that tips the scales right there. We may safely assume it wasn't a veiled sexual invitation, because the hotel probably had fancy french presses back in 2011.

My apologies to everyone for assuming this was ever about sex.

Are you now going to imply that the French Press is a new coffee invention, or that the 4 star hotel would have had a cheap, one cup system in 2011? Because, yet again, this is demonstrably evidence that you have no relevant experience while lecturing others.

eta:

It doesn't, usually. Most approaches are made in public spaces with plenty of room to walk away.

And this demonstrates your lack of familiarity with elevators. They went up one floor. How long, between the doors closing, the request, and the doors opening on the next floor do you think this took?

 

[d4m10n]

That doesn't answer my point, unless you think that speaking to someone in an elevator constitutes, in and of itself, cornering that person.

Here you go: http://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/american/corner_2

 

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Do they ever corner talk to you? Does that make you strongly uncomfortable?

Guys, don't do that.

It's actually far more uncomfortable when people don't talk in an elevator.