Have you read the Bible?

[arthwollipot]

Well, have you?

By "read" let's assume that I mean that you have read the majority of it. I've read all of it, but I admit to skimming all of the boring begats. I consider this to be having read the Bible.

Select one of the "I am/have been a Christian" options if at any time in your life, including currently, you have been an active Christian churchgoer for any substantial period of time. Otherwise, select "I am not/have never been a Christian".

If you're not sure, please ask what I mean before voting.

 

[Brainache]

As a kid I was Christian for a while and I read parts of the bible. I don't think I've read the whole thing. Lately looking into the Historical Jesus debate I've read more of it than I had before, but I still haven't read the whole thing, so I chose the "was Christian, haven't read it" option.

 

[Rat]

I picked the first option, although I'm not sure that I could honestly say that I was a Christian. I was, as a child, a believer in god, and the god that I believed in was the god of Christianity, so I suppose that would make me as much of a Christian as much as probably 90% of Christians.

I have read the bible twice. Once when I was still a believer in god, and once long after I had given up that belief. On both occasions, at least 90% of it was unbelievably dull. I've since gone through the book of Mormon and the Koran, and they are similarly tedious.

For the record, when I read it as a believer, it was something like the Standard Revised Version or similar, and when I reread it, it was the KJV.

 

[Leumas]

I wanted to choose the option

• I am an alien from planet X and I wrote the Bible

But unfortunately there was no such option.

 

[Pope130]

Haven't read the book, but I did see the movie(s). I think Jeffrey Hunter was the best Jesus. He was the only one good enough to go on to be Captain of the Enterprise.

 

[Resume]

#1

 

[Loss Leader]

Jewish. I've read a lot of the Torah in various pieces. Not comfortable saying that I've "read" the whole book.

 

[John Jones]

Oh yes, I have read it two or three times. I was raised Southern Baptist on the King James Version. I've also read the Catholic bible and its Apocrypha too.

As time has passed, I have become more agnostic-atheist with each reading.

 

[Venom]

#1

I used to read the Pslams and most of Genesis when I was a bit younger. Now I just read it as a reference alongside some of my favorite scholarly work.

I still cherish my RSV; the most natural translation of His Word that I have in my possession.

 

[TJM]

Not / Never been / Haven't read it.

I can't imagine why I'd want to.

 

[John Jones]

#1
[...]

I still cherish my RSV; the most natural translation of His Word that I have in my possession.

Smirk.

 

[Rat]

Not / Never been / Haven't read it.

I can't imagine why I'd want to.

Because it's a source of allusions in all of western literature, Shakespeare onwards (and presumably before), that makes a good deal of sense if you are familiar with what is being referred to. Your life will not greatly suffer if you do not catch those references, but I consider them worthwhile.

Also, I must refer to the only run-in I have had with Mormons, since they don't call in to my house. When they stopped me in the street, the lass said to me something like "I don't know whether you know this book", to which I said "Oh, aye. I've got one of those at home."

"No, you're probably thinking of the bible", she said. "No, that's the Book of Mormon", I said, "I've got one at home. I read it. It's awful." She would not believe that I had one or knew what it was. It is satisfying to be able to answer and ask questions in that sort of situation.

 

[Minoosh]

"No, you're probably thinking of the bible", she said. "No, that's the Book of Mormon", I said, "I've got one at home. I read it. It's awful." She would not believe that I had one or knew what it was. It is satisfying to be able to answer and ask questions in that sort of situation.

"Chloroform in print," ascribed to Mark Twain.

I can't read any scripture, can never make heads or tails of it. I know many of the Bible stories from a series of volumes geared toward juvenile readers.

 

[Slowvehicle]

Extensively.

Went through a period where my family and my congregation gave me a different translation for occasion presents; I have read the entirety of the text all the way through approximately 30 times.

Went through another period where I was a practicing member of a sect that rotated through the text on a regular basis, in the function of the ordinary year.

Which does not include the time I have spent studying and translating the text.

Yes, I have read it.

 

[tsig]

"Chloroform in print," ascribed to Mark Twain. I can't read any scripture, can never make heads or tails of it. I know many of the Bible stories from a series of volumes geared toward juvenile readers.

That was the Book of Mormon.

 

[Nonpareil]

Raised Catholic, but never believed, so I didn't pay much attention in church. While I believe that, taken all together, I probably did real the entirety of the Bible at some point, I never read it cover-to-cover in one sitting, and I honestly don't remember much of it.

It's amazing how little of that stuff I managed to retain, considering that I can quote almost anything else I've ever read or watched from memory.

 

[bruto]

Read it. Remember little but some. I also pretty much skimmed the begats but read more of it than it's sensible to.

I've read most of the Apocrypha too. The New Testament Apocrypha are dreadful drivel.

 

[Craig4]

I've read sections of it, mostly the New Testament. We had mandatory religion classes in school and we had to read parts of it. We just read the bit relevant to the syllabus though. Once I was out of high school and well shot of it, I never picked it up again.

 

[Aepervius]

I have read it in two versions, partially english and fully in french. I will admit that I don#t remember much of it except the well known passages.

 

[Craig B]

"Chloroform in print," ascribed to Mark Twain.

Definitely Mark Twain. It's in Chapter XVI of [url="ofhttp://www.gutenberg.org/files/3177/3177-h/3177-h.htm]Roughing It[/url]. The Chapter begins

All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so "slow," so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle—keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate. If he, according to tradition, merely translated it from certain ancient and mysteriously-engraved plates of copper, which he declares he found under a stone, in an out-of-the-way locality, the work of translating was equally a miracle, for the same reason.

Twain's account of Mormonism in this book is hilarious, and definitely worth a read.