So was it my white privilege that made it go so well, or was it my stereotypically white demeanor which many a black comedian has joked about, and my absence of steroetypically black demeanor which many a black comedian has also joked about? Namely, was being pleasant and cooperative and respectful toward the officer "acting white" and being a punk, etc.?
What a load of crap. Seriously. "Oh, the police won't bother you if you just act pleasant despite being harassed." "They won't bother you if you just act middle-class WASP enough."
"They won't bother you if you just
know your place."
Sorry, but there aren't sufficient words allowed here for how horrible that attitude is. Of course it's bloody privilege. Whether it's white privilege, middle-class privilege, or just acting-like-the-preferred-stereotype-token privilege.
Since you are so fond of claiming your anecdotes are conclusive evidence of how the world really works; here's one of mine. I've been stopped by police in a wide range of different circumstances, and every single time, my treatment has not depended on my demeanor, it's depended entirely on my appearance.
When I've been dressed like an average white middle-class white-collar office worker, yes, the police have been reasonable and polite. However, the moment that appearance changes, so does the way that the police treat me. And I have never been anything from unfailingly polite and pleasant, regardless of how I look.
I was pulled over on my way home from work one night, dressed in a polo shirt and jeans, a bit sleep deprived due to having gotten off a particular long swing shift, and I didn't pull over when I should have, I just zoned out and ended up pulling over a slightly-too-long distance later. When the officer came up, he was understandably upset, and seemed to believe I was stoned. I explained my condition, was suitably apologetic (after all, I had actually been speeding and missed the turnout where I should have stopped) he mellowed out, and let me off with a warning.
Some time later, I had a similar issue, sleep deprived, wandered through a stop sign and nearly got t-boned. The response was nearly identical to the first time. I've had similar experience getting stopped for not updating my tags, or running red lights (to be fair, my city is really crap about where they put them, and some of them are nearly invisible, especially when the sun was behind them). In the last case, the officer was gruff but polite, and suggested I start wearing sunglasses. Sometimes I get tickets, sometimes I dont (I have no illusions that I'm a particularly good driver). Again, every time, looking like your basic office joe.
The moment I start to look at all different, their reaction to me changes.
When I was in my 20s, I was on my way home from going out with my girlfriend, standing around the ferry waiting room for the boat that was to take us home. I was dressed like a punk; not a scruffy street punk, but a middle-class art school punk. This crusty old beat cop walks in, takes one look at me, and immediately begins to berate me about what a horrible person I am. No prologue, no asking why I was there, just an almost ten minute long harangue. Never asked me a single question. I just stood there smiling at him, and the more I smiled, the more strident he got, until he finally gave up and walked away after a few vague threats about running me in (for what, he never said, something to do with my outfit involving an old military dress jacket set him off and was the bulk of his tirade).
Another time, my brother and a couple of our friends were driving back from a practice session of his (punk) band; and we were stopped by a cop. We were all late teens at the time. We were not speeding, or driving in any way abnormally. The officer spent the next five minutes grilling everyone in the car about who they were, where we were going, why we were out on the road, and so on. Everyone was unfailingly polite. After a while the officer just glared at us and said he was letting us off with a "warning"; and never once said why he pulled us over of what the warning was for. It was well-known where I grew up that city PD did not like teenagers, and would take any opportunity to harass them. One officer in particular had a thing for the high school girls; and was eventually brought up on disciplinary charges for extorting sexual favours from them at traffic stops.
In another case, I was walking downtown on my way to work, with a couple of co-workers who I had met up with slightly earlier. I was dressed pretty visibly Goth, and one of my co-workers was dressed flamboyantly queer (dude had a great sense of style). There was kind of event going on, and an officer was directing traffic at an intersection. There were a number of guys in suits and "business casual" attire standing at the edge of the sidewalk waiting to cross. As we walked up, the officer looked over before we were even 10 feet from the sidewalk, and she started screaming at us to stop. Literally screaming. Not saying a word to anyone who was already at the intersection, but screaming very loudly and shrilly at us to stop before we were anywhere near it. We just smiled at her and ignored her for the most part, and she quieted down somewhat, but kept shouting at us (I couldn't actually make out most of what she said).
Another time, I was similarly on my way to work, looking like I'd just stepped out of a Goth club, with the same flamboyantly gay man, and a couple of other co-workers. This was the day after a protest downtown had been cleaned up (WTO in case you're interested); and we had been informed that we would be able to get to work without a problem, as long as we had our badges. No dice. A couple of cops on horses accosted us, demanded to know what we were doing there, despite having our badges prominently displayed. We explained we were on our way to work, which they officers did not seem to want to accept, and they refused to allow us into the office, which was roughly half a block away. We started out the same as before, but after several minutes of this, while we remained politely insistent, we had quit smiling Mind you, the entire time we are being harassed by these two horse cops, guys in suits are walking by completely unchallenged. Eventually they called someone on their radios, and let us get to the office. The entire time we're walking, the two cops are following us
and threatening us, insisting that they'er "coming after" us, "going to get" us, if we "so much as step one foot past the door".
And I have plenty of similar stories, mine and others, about being harassed by police simply for looking like "freaks".
So yes, it's definitely about privilege and prejudice. We were "profiled" as troublemakers simply do to an accident of appearance, and treated like criminals despite not being engaged in any sort of suspicious activity. There is no other way to explain it. For every one of your "I've never been profiled and harassed, so it can't possibly be true" anecdotes, I've got a dozen contrary ones.